Photo by Eric Widor
Lately I have been reading a lot of crazy on the internet. People I know have been loudly rejecting the word ‘feminism’ in some kind of throwback haze of ignorance, a friend recently assured her community she was safely and surely over her ill-advised ‘bisexual phase’ (garnering snarky mean girls type welcomes back to the lesbian fold), I was subjected to a video which explained (through the use of a graph) precisely what relationships certain women were good for based on their ‘hotness’ vs. ‘crazy’ factors – which was not only extremely sexist, heterosexist, and demeaning in its offense, but managed to get some good trans-bashing in there as well. This was my week reading social media… So, in the midst of all that bullshit I’ve decided to ABC-up a few of the kink and sex positive activists, artists, sexologists, porn stars, erotica writers, and general divas who have come before me who I find inspiring and who give me strength in time of “whaaaa????” I hope you find wonder in their voices too.
Midori: Midori is an inspiration on so many levels. I first came across her when I was working at a sexuality boutique owned and run by women called “Grand Opening!” a little over a decade ago. I have had the pleasure of taking a few classes by this woman, and I recommend always showing up for her classes, workshops, lectures, demonstrations, etc. when she’s around. She is an amazing performance artist, writer, kinkster, and teacher of the sexy arts. She has opened my mind in so many many ways to kink, D/s, how to get what you want, and even how know what that is. Midori in action not only defines the trope “hot for teacher”, but makes her students so so much better for showing up. You can find more about Midori here as well.
Annie Sprinkle: I have a postcard that I carry around of Annie Sprinkle and post on my workshop wall. She reminds me to be true to my beliefs and outspoken in my art. My first run in with this Goddess was by watching videos of her early career in porn and a documentary about her performance art work. I had never seen someone so determined to be free sexually and true to herself as an artist. She has been a sex worker, activist, and performance artist in so many ways over the length of her career, and still manages to push boundaries and work to awaken the vital energy of nature and sexuality in her followers. She is, put simply, a force. I am a better and happier person for knowing about her.
Carol Queen: The book “The Leather Daddy and the Femme” was the first erotic novel I read that not only turned me on but let me know that the things that do it for me are not only mine. I generally do not read or enjoy erotica, but that book makes me wild. I’ve had the pleasure of taking classes from Carol Queen and watching her on film. She is a fierce advocate of queer sexuality and open sexual realities, bisexuality, kink, playfulness, and just being great at what you do with whomever you’re doing it with. I laud Carol for her balance of education and sexy. She makes the sex geek in me hope to grow up and be just like her.
Betty Dodson: I was a late bloomer in the masturbation and orgasm realms. At the age of 20, I found Betty Dodson’s book “Sex for One”, bought a vibrator, and figured out how to go about finding my orgasm. I have never turned back, and I am thankful for the help not only in technique, but in the comfort of her writing’s reassurance that my (what I thought of as) “brokeness” was not in fact that at all, and that I was definitely not alone in my struggles. The ideas that you could meet up with a group of women and explore your bodies, and that looking at and touching yourself was a base line to empowerment were inspirations that have allowed me to teach what I know to others as well. Betty is a fountain of information, advice, and perspective. I am grateful that her voice carried all the way to my little ears when I was ready to listen.
Deborah Sundahl: This is the woman who taught me to ejaculate! My partner at the time and I came across a video (the first video on the subject) called “How to Female Ejaculate” and the book “Female Ejaculation and the G-spot” when it first came out. We decided to give it a go! The first time I ejaculated I left a wet spot on the bed about three feet in diameter through two comforters. We were so excited about it at the time that we told my mother when she came home later that afternoon, and her response was “My child!” followed with a fist pump… Sufficed to say this was a wonderful reminder that even though I was discovering parts of my sexuality right then and there, there was a history of women who have literally come before me that I could talk to and share my experiences with. I encourage you to get the book if you’re interested in the subject and check out Deborah’s website. Her dedication to teaching and encouraging the multi-purpose functionality of the female sex organs is inspiring.
There are a lot of other people who have helped me in my journey, and I know there will be many more. These are some of the pillars I’ve stood on to get to where I am now, and I am thankful. Happy link-clicking; I hope some of it leads to new experiences and successful new playtimes… Who are the people who have inspired you to learn, explore, invent, try, have confidence, or be curious about your sexuality over the years in your own evolution?
To Breath and Being,
~ Karin
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~Thank you.
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