Connection. Help. A tension, a purpose between two people. Photo by Justin Moore
I find myself thinking about the ways in which I am thankful for people in all of my communities who help me to be a more whole human being: my family (of origin and of choice), my GLBTQI, Poly, Kinky, and Sex-Positive playmates, my Drag / Burlesque / Actor / Dancer / Artist / Puppeteer / Maker peers and contemporaries, my friends, my lovers, and my partners (current and past). I am thankful to everyone who has ever taught me something about themselves and in so allowed me to look at life and at myself in a new light. I am thankful for the people who were aware and accepting of the little parts of me that emerged as I have discovered myself more deeply over time. I’m thankful for those who have taken a chance on me in my wandering “youth of new ideas/identities”; those who offered philosophies, suggestions, and new games to play to aid in my development. I am thankful for the people who respected my newness in any community I found, and who have taken the time (still to this day) to explain how things can work differently than I have believed them to before… the list goes on, but the root of what I am thankful for is that there are profound depths of acceptance in this world, and I have been able to consistently find them when I have needed to.
What I hope is that I return the favor to those around me. I hope that by grounding myself in my own new discoveries, that I offer a space of calm and trust other people can use to expand on and explore in their own journeys.
I’ve been writing to my born-again Christian Grandmother lately. I made it clear to her a little while ago all of who I am – amongst which the descriptors queer, poly, sex-positive, kinky, and a teacher/blogger/performance artist who often graphically explores these themes in my work (I’ll post that letter one of these days). She asked, in a letter to me recently, who we should be thankful to on Thanksgiving, if not to the God many people no longer believe in. This was my response:
I am thankful for a great many things, and believe it is important to acknowledge to myself – to FEEL and think about – that thankfulness. By internalizing these ideas (the things I am thankful for), I am able to hold onto them and incorporate these things as an active and meditative part of my work in this world. I don’t think I need to be thankful TO anyone necessarily (other than the people I am thankful for themselves). The practice of being thankful is an important individual and familial ritual to me. Saying these things out loud is an opportunity to share my thoughts and values with the people I choose to have around me, and to learn about the thoughts and values of those I’ve surrounded myself by. These things are fundamentally important for me to know about in the people that I love.
I hope we do have hard conversations, and that we stumble and fall over ourselves. I wish for grace in the getting back up, and that there is always one more try on the horizon to understand and love one another better. Without tension held perfectly between us, we can not find our way to close perfectly.
To Breath and Being,
~ Karin
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~Thank you.