First Thoughts of the New Year

Glitterotica-29

Photo by Kristen Marie Photo: My “Spoken Word Burlesque” performance at the Glitterotica show

In this New Year’s time of looking forward and reflecting back, I came across the following piece which I wrote in 2010 for a burlesque show produced by the Bitches of Destiny entitled “Show”.  It was an event at the Coolidge Corner Theater to promote Henry Hornstein’s newly published book by that title.  I’ve performed the piece a few times since, and every time I look at it I am reminded how clearly these words ring true for me.

These days, in real life, I am struggling with desire, with the meaning making one needs to resolve between big picture understanding and the detail work of experiences, and I am wrestling with these questions in my heart.  In times of struggle I find comfort by reminding myself what I have always believed.  I hope you enjoy my internalized questioning as much as I inherently need to do so.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

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TO SURVIVE THE LAWS THAT KEEP US SILENT AND IN PLACE: A BURLESQUE

By UnAmerika’s Sweetheart Karin Webb

She sits looking out at the audience from a chair center stage…

She takes a moment to adjust her skirt.  Runs a hand up her stockings…  plays with the audience’s expectations.

She poses.

She picks up the mic and says hello to a person or 2 in the audience…  She flirts a little.

She picks a volunteer from the audience and brings them onto the stage.

Her new companion receives a laundry basket…

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“I could be anyone.

What turns you on?  (she touches herself)

My glasses?  My skin?  My hair?  My breasts?  My mind?  My mouth?  My questions?  My movement?  (stands) My shoes?  My hips?  My down below? (she moves into the audience and begins removing clothing, motioning for her volunteer to follow)

Would you fuck me because of the dress I wear?

The tie I wind around my neck?  The cut of my shirt?  The cigar I smoke?  The way I sit?

Do you assume I want your touch and attention because I am listening to you?

If I flirt do I owe you something?

At what point in our relationship do you own me? (motions for audience member to help get undressed)

Halfway through dinner?  After kiss?  After sex?  After drink?  After smile?  Half way in?  After marriage?  After I show mine?  After touch?  After consent?  After payment?

If I say stop will you respect that?

No matter.  How.  Far.  In.  We.  Are?

Will you ask me for what you want?

In life?  In bed?  In another partner?  In relationship?  In me?

Do you act needy?  Do you assume?  Do you use others against me?  Do you negotiate respectfully or do you manipulate?  What if one day I want him or her or them? (she directly references people in the audience)

Am I a bitch/cunt/whore for being separate from you?  For being me – fully and honestly?  For having a voice outside of your comfort or fantasy?  (she moves back toward the stage)

After that fight how do you keep me?  Through co-dependence?  Through negotiation?  Manipulation?  Therapy?  Through “I love you” or money?  Through family?  Abuse?  Depression, dependence, lies?  Communication?  Depravity?  Begging?  Time?  Through physical power?  Through sex?  Blackmail?  Through space? (she is back on stage)

1.  2.  3.

Are you ready?”

(She finishes stripping, turns, and exits)

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If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to share your Kinky New Years Resolutions?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

H is for HOODS

Photo by YuriK80

Photo by YuriK80

Do not underestimate the power of a hood.  For unlimited reasons there is a psychological, kinesthetic, and emotional power this device holds that I find quite moving.  A hood is nothing more than a type of mask (says the performance artist), and masks hold within them the power to transform an individual.  I think there is far more to the experience of wearing one than simple cut and dry sensory deprivation, which is often the reason pointed to when defining what they are for.  Let’s explore this in more depth, shall we…

The intimidation factor:  One of the things I like/loathe most about hoods is how much fear they have always struck into my heart.  Perhaps it is because I am a connection whore and control freak and I enjoy being able to see my partners’ faces during play, or maybe I just associate the hooded kinkster with a hangman’s role or the gimp character in Pulp Fiction…  not things I find particularly sexy, perhaps just not my kink (yet).  Also I think there’s a certain fear that strikes me when I think of the anonymity that a hood impresses upon the wearer.  The reality that the symbol of a hood holds such intimidation and power (for me) is a great reason to use them!  I get a thrill from the flip-like sink of the stomach which accompanies a hood being pulled out or brought up in conversation…  What do you think of when you see or consider hoods?  Does this make you more or less curious about using them?

The Gimp character from Pulp Fiction

The Gimp character from Pulp Fiction

Other reasons to slip ’em on:  There are a million!  Lets see here…  Hoods can look amazing and be great fashion accessories, they can be made of materials people fetishize and therefore wish to be clad in (leather, latex, nylon, lace…), they are great tools to employ for breath control and breath play, they can be dehumanizing or take away one’s identity, they are a no-brainer for sensation play, masks can really finish the costume for convincing pet play, or be the perfect detail in your uniform fetish fantasy games, don’t forget that they can psychologically turn people on/off/sideways, and masks can lend a particular character or inanimate fuck-doll reality to your play should you wish.  Masks can have various parts of the face exposed for easy access: mouth, eyes, nose, they can cover the head completely, or they can have zippers so you can decide to open up an area or close it off as you see fit…  What are your favorite reasons to use a hood during play and what type of hood do you like most?

Keep in mind:  One of the things you want to pay attention to very closely when using a hood is how much it cuts off the wearer’s access to their air supply.  In general you are putting something over someone’s head which is hopefully fun for the wearer, but it also cuts down the amount of information you have from the wearer about how they are doing.  You no longer may be able to look into their eyes and see if they are connected or not, you may not be able to hear or see their breathing as well, and depending on the hood being used you may not hear the safeword as easily if they are trying to say it.  Another thing to keep in mind is hearing.  When you have a mask over your head at the very least you’ll have a harder time hearing anything being said to you.  At the worst every time the mask is touched you’ll hear the sound of the material being played with loudly in your ears and definitely not the words that might be being said to you.  If you are engaged in activities that could compromise the hood wearer’s safety, consider having a non-verbal safeword instead, like holding something in the hand that can be dropped as an indication to stop play.  It is also a good idea to verbally check in more frequently with a person you are getting less visual/facial information from.

An experience of my own:  The first scene I was ever in was an amazing experience.  It lasted about 5 1/2 hours and we went through a bunch of different modes of play.  At one point toward the end of the exploration my top brought out a mask and put me in it.  I was dreading it (as I mentioned above, my reaction to hoods in general was in full effect), and then something amazing happened:  I was completely able to let go in a way I had yet to experience in my kinky explorations.

The hood we were using had zippers that exposed the eyes and mouth so I could either have my mouth and eyes exposed, or they could be zippered shut.  I remember being afraid of loosing my sight and intrigued by the idea of sensory deprivation.  And when the mask went on all was dark.  My hearing was mostly lost and the sound of my top’s voice felt far away.  All of a sudden the information I had about what was happening around me was cut down and focused.  I felt as though a new universe was formed and my mind was the center of everything.  Every sensation had questions associated with it because I could not simply see what was happening, and with each question my mind rushed to grasp an explanation.

There was calm there too.  A very intense and particular quiet that accompanied the loss of my head senses.  In that darkness and quiet I found peace.  Serenity.  Throughout the play we had enjoyed up to that moment I had felt a particular barrier between myself and my partner.  I felt my job was to accept what was given to me – process the pain, accept challenges, and bear new experiences.  And in that headspace I found myself emotionally less engaged, though physically, psychologically and kinesthetically I was completely on.  In this new quiet headspace I found the will and desire to reach out and touch my partner, something I had denied myself until that point.  And it was a beautiful very sensual part of the evening.  It was deeply touching.  The hood created a universe where I could reach out beyond the barriers I had set for myself and intuitively find strength and trust my own explorations.  This part of the night’s play was quite profound.

Where you can find more information:  As always I highly recommend learning more about the specific types of play you’d like to engage in before jumping in.  Kink Academy has some great videos on the subject of hoods and also information about them in conjunction with other subjects.  Find friends on Fetlife, search for information on the web, take classes by local or traveling kink teachers, or watch demos in clubs or at your local dungeon…  As always have fun and make sure you are playing safe.

To Breath and Being
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

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Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to share your Kinky New Years Resolutions?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Kinky Resolve

Happy New Years Kinksters!!!

ABC Screenshot Crop

You can do it! Just think it up first…

Today is the first day of a new year.  All the possibilities exist that always exist, but today they seem like shiny new coins.  So I propose harnessing (ha) that energy and thinking forward about what you would like to do in 2014…  what twisted, kinky, loving, brutal, curious, exciting, edgy, sexy, bucket-list type activities are on your radar for the new year?

If you haven’t already, get a ticket to Dark Odyessey’s Winter Fire, Bound in Boston, NELA’s Winter Fleamarket, or any of the other wonderful cons and events in your area, and commit to learning a thing or two about a thing or two that you’d like to learn.

Keep reading your ABCs, and please do send me your thoughts and ideas!  I’d love to hear what you have to say on the subject – all the things.

To growing ever more confident and getting to have great adult fun in the process,

To Breath and Being
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to share your Kinky New Years Resolutions?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

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