Transparency

 Transparency in relationships is something that’s been on my mind a lot lately…  How does it work for you?

Photo by Yellow.Cat

Photo by Yellow.Cat

I am the type of person who needs complete transparency to feel safe and build trust or keep trust with my partners.  I know it doesn’t function like this for everyone.  I will say that it seems to me that the successful poly-type people I know who are in relationships all seem to be people who tell one another everything (whatever everything means to them) and who can process with one another/communicate with one another extremely well.  They also are people who care deeply for one another’s feelings and needs as well as their own.

I like that.  I like that both as a person who dates people who have primary partners (I don’t often have to worry where I stand with someone’s significant other, and I know I can reach out to them personally if something seems awry), and as someone who endeavors to build relationships that are lasting, respectful, and healthy for everyone involved.  I like that practicing transparency will probably bring me closer to the people I love in the long run.

For more ideas related to transparency, you can do some research on Radical Honesty, and think about the ways you might censor yourself (much less mislead or edit your thoughts and feelings when sharing them with the people around you).

What does transparency mean to me?   It means being 100% honest with yourself.  It means taking that honesty and sharing it with your partners.  It means risking displeasing your partners at times because it is as important to name your needs outside the relationship as it is to cultivate what happens within the relationship itself.  It means listening to the parts of your brain that don’t want to broach an important subject because you are afraid of what will happen if you do, how you will feel, how the energy in the room might change…, but taking the steps to do it anyhow.  It means telling the people you care about the things you know they’ll want to know before they ask a half dozen questions about a subject.  It means taking responsibility for making mistakes – we all make mistakes.  It means letting the people around you know when something has shifted or changed, and advocating for that shift to be worked through.  It means taking responsibility for your feelings, your fears, and your part in the communication process.  It indicates (to me) a level of loyalty to both yourself and your partners.  It is taking responsibility for your autonomy by sharing yourself with the people who you have chosen to be, in some ways, your biggest supporters.

In short if means telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…  and then admitting the times you realize you haven’t been so good at doing that and getting better.

The best part about it it that it gets easier the more you practice.  You might be astonished by what happens when you find people who want to support you – who love you for who you are, not who they wish you’d be – and who give you positive reinforcement for sharing your needs, thoughts, desires, and most intimate self.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

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Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Storytime: Shapeshifting Bedfellows

I am delighted that people write me and share pieces of themselves, of their experiences, and about the ways their sexuality and kink experiences have moved them in their lifetimes.  I recently received the following story in my inbox.  At first I didn’t see how it applied to kink per se, but stick with it, I think it has a really lovely end and I enjoy the musing.

Have you ever had a shapeshifting experience or been around someone else who has?

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

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"Apollo und Daphne" by Jakob Auer

“Apollo und Daphne” by Jakob Auer

Karin,  Here’s a true story about My girl:

I was part of something incredible Saturday night that I have never experienced before, so I thought I would write about it. I’m not sure if I can put into words what I witnessed but I’ll try.

Once a month I vend at Sinomatic in Boston. I love the energy, especially when I am with My babygirl/slave daisy_kitten. She had a family obligation so she wasn’t sure she would make it back in time to go, but I told her I would rather be late with her than on time without her.

The crowd was light, and sales were low, but I really didn’t care, I was able to spend some time with My daisy, playing a bit, feeling her amazing skin, just having her near Me was all I needed. She had changed into a skin tight snakeskin patterned dress, and I couldn’t keep My hands or eyes off her. She loved the attention, the touching, the spanking and the whacks from her special, crystal studded toy I made just for her.

At 2AM we packed up and heading out for the long trip back to NH in My truck. daisy had changed back into her street clothes, tight white capris and a tank top. My hands kept finding her lap and she was squirming all over the seat, unbuttoning her pants and helping Me slide My fingers over her smooth cunt. She was soaked as she always is when we are together. My fingers dipped into her and she lifted right off the seat, trying to get My fingers in deeper. All this is going on as I am driving up 93 at 70 MPH trying to concentrate on driving and pleasuring her. At one point she was convulsing so much she hit the shift and pushed it in neutral which slowed us down a bit but certainly didn’t stop us!

We pulled into a motel parking lot, got in the backseat and attacked each other. She tore her clothes off and I couldn’t  wait to taste her. She has the sweetest tasting cunt I have ever experienced, her full soft lips, smooth skin and hard clit make Me want to clamp My mouth on her every chance I can. She always has the same reaction every time I lick her, moaning and thrusting as if just that first touch of My tongue will make her cum.

I love teasing her, licking softly around her lips, tasting and touching her before I put My mouth fully on her, pushing My tongue deep into her then flicking My tongue across her clit. It drives her wild, and I love hearing the moans and sounds she makes.

She loves My fingers in her. We have talked about fisting, but that is going to take some time. I have really big, wide hands, and she has the tightest little cunt. It WILL happen, but that’s for another day, tonight I wanted to just make her cum and cum.

daisy has a very easy to find G-spot. When I rub it, she tightens down on Me, and when she cums its almost painfully tight on My two fingers. I can feel that hot wet cunt squeezing My fingers as I type this. The very thought of how she feels makes Me hard every time. Damn, how I love owning this exquisitely beautiful woman/girl!

I can always tell when she’s about to cum, her body starts trembling all over, her cunt gets tighter and tighter, and if she’s really turned on, it feels like she is trying to push My fingers out of her, those are the times she squirts…yes, she is a squirter as well. She says she had only squirted once before she met Me, but since then, well she has squirted a lot. She knows how much I love it, and that has allowed her to relax and let go. Tonight she was beyond turned on, she was flying.

I could feel she was ready, and I told her to cum for Me, to cum for Daddy and she did, squirting a bit around My fingers. She wasn’t done, not by a long shot, and soon she was there again, squirting more, spraying a huge amount, soaking My pants from hip to knee. Again she came, squirting again, and this time I was lucky enough to have My mouth on her, getting a mouthful of her cum, sweet and beautiful, so intimate, so fucking hot.

I knew she had more in her, and I was not going to stop until she had been totally satisfied. Her pleasure gives Me pleasure. She came again, squirting across the seat and this is when it happened, this strange and beautiful thing that has NEVER happened to me before, she changed physically.

A quick aside here; a few weeks ago, daisy was on her knees sucking My cock after a play session. I was sitting on a couch watching her when something happened. Her face changed a bit into someone else, no seriously it did. Her incredibly beautiful green eyes changed to black and her face changed as well. She became this dark, exotic woman who I later named innana. It was her true slave self, something that has never shown itself before, but is now evident to both of us.

Now back to Saturday night. When I said she changed physically, I really mean that. Her feet were against the door and she was laying across My lap and she started arching her back so much she was almost touching the ceiling, and it happened, she got physically smaller and she changed into a young girl with budding breasts, hairless cunt (although daisy is always smooth this gave Me the impression of not old enough to grow hair yet, not of being shaved) a true little girl.

I was a bit freaked out, but incredibly turned on as well. I was witnessing something beyond anything I had ever seen sexually. I have always told her I play on a higher plane than sex and that I could take her places she can’t imagine, but here was My woman turning into a little girl before My eyes, and taking ME places I’ve never imagined! It was amazing and beyond words.

She came and squirted and flopped down into My lap and then there was another huge spasm and she came again, squirting out an incredible amount around My fingers. My seat was awash with her juices, the car filled with the intoxicating smell of her, and I almost came in My pants!

In all, she squirted 7 times, draining every ounce of fluid from her. I felt like I had cum as many times as well, but she wasn’t satisfied with that, she asked to taste Me, to pleasure Me, to swallow Me, to thank Me for making her feel safe enough to let go and squirt, fly, be who she is inside.

As she sucked Me, I could feel how much she loves Me, the devotion and gratitude she feels that she feels can’t ever express enough to Me. She knows I know, that I am blessed to have her in My life.

She is the most incredible woman I have ever met, this shape shifting ball of energy is Mine forever.

Yes, this really did happen, she changed, I saw AND felt it. Someone once told Me that I can see and feel things that others can’t, perhaps that’s what I happened, that I “saw” what she was feeling inside, that she felt like a little girl playing with her Daddy. I really don’t know, but I look forward to being with her again and finding out what else she has inside her.

Thank you dasiy for honoring Me by calling Me Daddy, Master, Lover, I love you so.

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If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Teasecraft Boston

A typical electrical vibrator. Image by Craxd1

A typical electrical vibrator. Image by Craxd1

I’ve mentioned teasecraft before, and have just gotten word that it will be back on the 17th at Arisia!  Below is the announcement; the guest speaker, Lord Percival, is a great teacher and community member.  I hope some of you out there make your way to the event and find out it’s not just your thing, but you write me about your discoveries!  (Karin@ABCsOfKink.com)

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

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This month, teasecraft-boston is coming to Arisia! Our next meetup on Friday, January 17, from 8:30-10:30pm at Arisia (Board Room 3W), will feature Lord Percival and his top tips for getting down with your kinky maker self!

Lord Percival will start with safety info — since these DIY projects are intended for use on (or in) people, it’s important to think carefully about safety. Then it’s time to talk about inspiration, imagination, and how to get your creative juices (and other juices) flowing. You’ll leave this meetup ready to dive into your own kinky DIY projects, old or new!

If you’ve got a project you’d like to share, or an idea that you’d like some feedback on, please bring it! Not working on a project right now? No worries! Come out and get inspired.

About the presenter:

Lord Percival (Percy to most) has been active in the scene both in private and in public for four decades, and been teaching, lecturing, mentoring, and training others for a quarter century. He’s been involved and associated with many New England Leather Alliance (NELA) events for a large number of years, from volunteering here and there, to giving classes, and serving as Program and Education Director for several years. As someone who finds amongst his first joyful memories taking apart a vacuum cleaner, Lord Percival loves tinkering with things and finding the most amazing toys within everything he touches.

About teasecraft-boston:

Teasecraft is a meetup group for folks interested in making their own sex toys / BDSM equipment / other kinky and fun things. All people 18+ are welcome, regardless of your (a)sexuality/orientation/gender/race or what materials you work with (electronics, wood, metal, leather, software, etc). We want to facilitate face-to-face conversation because it’s such a great medium for showing off projects, sharing stories, and meeting new collaborators.

What to bring:

For more news, updates, and conversations, join the Teasecraft email list: http://groups.google.com/group/teasecraft-boston

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If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or have a kink event you’d like to promote?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

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