Bifurcated Girls Spank, from Vanity Fair’s Bifurcated Girls Special Issue, June 6, 1903. This issue showed women dressed in trousers, at the time considered rather risque. What would they think now?
Slapping, spanking, striking with an open hand: classic, enjoyable, and a great introduction to rough body play for both the enthusiastic beginner, and the rough ‘n tumble explorer.
Why slap someone? Today I wanted to write about slapping because, well, I recently had a scene that was all slapping, and I realized I had a bunch to say about it. First off I want to recommend slapping for people who are new to impact play and/or would like to get familiar with a new partner’s body, as long as it’s consensual and of interest to all the parties involved.
The hand is a REALLY smart toy. It learns all kinds of information when it touches, strikes, or lingers over a body part. The hand is VERSATILE! You can strike with the finger tips, the palm stretched wide, the fingers held rigid or soft, you can go for a loud crack of a sound or a quick and thuddy pat. Almost every part of the body can tolerate a slap to some degree as long as it lands correctly, and handprints are ever so divine. Hands know how hard you are hitting, as the Top’s hand has a direct line to the experience and is feeling every hit as well. Coordination and target accuracy is easier with an actual body part than with a toy that demands extension. Warming up is something you have clear physical feedback about, as is moving forward.
What to look out for: While slapping is a relatively easy activity to figure out, it is not without its own set of guidelines to watch out for. Face slapping is something you should do research on and be confident about before attempting. It is not an activity you want to try out and fail at after realizing you’ve blown out someone’s eardrum or dislocated a jawbone or poked an eye. Aside from the face though, you should bone up on your anatomy/physiology lessons too. Know about the radial nerve when hitting (or binding) anywhere in the inner upper arm area, remind yourself about the zyphoid process, diaphragm, stomach muscles and the organs they protect, floating ribs, shoulder joints, joints in general… Most of these you want to know about so you don’t cause damage to your bottom, but some anatomy you want to be aware of so you don’t damage your own hand. Remember to check in thoroughly with your partner prior to play so you have a clear idea about what’s going on with their body both today and in general. Know their problem areas, past injuries, current sensitivities, recent hospital visits or illnesses, ongoing health concerns, where their inhaler is, whether or not they have or ever need the assistance of an EpiPen, if there are heart issues to consider or medication that needs to be on hand… you get the point. Slapping is the most fun when it is done safely and with the confidence of everyone in the room.
Practice: Take a workshop on slapping or rough body play at a convention or with a local kink organization. You can find more about slapping on the Kink Academy website, they have some really great educators who have created how-to videos on the subject. Start out slow and plan a session with your partner where you can communicate regularly about how everything feels. Check in frequently when you’re starting out, and make sure you have safe words in play if you are in a scene where the bottom isn’t able to talk or express themselves clearly. Personally I like Red/Yellow/Green as safewords, as you can use them for shorthand checkin in the midst of play: Red means stop everything and check in immediately, Yellow means you don’t need to stop but things are getting to be too much or move onto another area or slow down or a checkin would be appreciated, Green means all systems go, keep up the good work!
My experiences with slapping: …have been great! I was first introduced to being slapped and slapping in college during Stage Combat class. It was the only fight technique that we were taught to sometimes actually DO to another person. On stage the intimacy of a slap across the face cannot always be faked, so we set about learning how to do a contact slap with great lust and much wincing. Though the information on anatomy and various red flags to look for while you’re slapping someone for a stage performance are the same as what you need to know for kinky hitting fun, there is a solid difference in that you are not trying to hurt your acting scene partner, and you probably are trying to hurt your kink scene partner to a certain degree. Knowing about what the individual body can stand and where real boundaries lay is important.
As for the kinky end of the spectrum, I’ve been slapped by the best of them, and I always have a great time. Recently I found myself in the middle of a scene where slapping was the entire point of the scene. I LOVED it. It was interesting to have all the different parts of my body be played with in this manner, and for each part of the body to have its own journey through the slap. We started with arms, moved onto chest, stomach, inner thighs, outer thighs, vulva… and I think there was more, but by then we were three hours in and I was getting mushy brained. The scene was made better by an excellent amount of conversation and regular checkins as we proceeded or the hitting became more intense. I was feeling very good and melty, so not in a place where I could accurately discuss the finer points of my experience for some of the later check ins, but we had hand signals and the stoplight safeword system in place so my partner knew I was green and happy to carry on. I have tiny little pinpoint bruise markings on my inner arms a few days later, which will clear up soon enough, and though I am not marked up as much as I usually am in a scene, it was a wonderful experience that did play with my boundaries to a satisfying extent that I’d love to repeat. There’s just something so wonderful about looking up into your partner’s eyes and realizing they’re loving what they’re doing to you, that you’re breathing together, and knowing wholeheartedly that the combination of such a great connection, physical pain, and pleasing your lover gets you both really really turned on and… wet.
So, maybe try slapping out? If impact play is something you think you’d like, give it a more personal touch and make your hands the toy for a night. Know what you need to watch out for, have a great time with your partners, and let yourself hit or be hit for science!
To Breath and Being,
~ Karin
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~Thank you.
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