I offer my vision for the week: A kinky high protocol multi-course dinner between friends…

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Aperitifs and Hors d’Oeuvres are served as people arrive

Aperitif Options:

1. Absinthe is served traditionally at a Fountain with Water (not prepared with sugar*)
2. Gin, Grapefruit Seltzer, Bitters, garnished with a Bitter Candied Orange Slice, and offered with drama by lifting a glass cloche, under which a Rosemary Sprig has been set afire trapping Smoke within
3. A Mocktail is made similarly to the drink above by using Blackberry Vinegar in Lieu of Gin
4. Coffee & Tea Service (Milks may be offered upon request*)

*sweetener is not offered pre-dinner, as the purpose of aperitifs is to stimulate the digestive process utilizing bitter drink. Sweetness suppresses the appetite.

Hors d’Oeuvres: “Friends & Strangers.” One perfectly peeled Large Grape, presented in a Chinese spoon atop Grape Peel Fragments and Dried Citrus Peel Spirals strewn about the small ladle artfully. Reishi Powder, Thyme Powder, and Gold Leaf decorate the grape itself. A long skewer (2 feet in length, minimum) pierces the grape. One must offer the skewer’s end to a friend in order to enjoy this hors d’oeuvre. The bitter crumbs in the spoon are also to be eaten.

At the appropriate moment our Host moves us to the dining table

Soup Course: “Soup from a Stone, fancy that.” A bowl of steaming Hot Water is presented with a Stone in the center bottom. Surrounding the bowl are a number of test tubes and smaller measuring bowls containing various ingredients: thin Shallot and Scallion Slices; Pearls of Baked Pumpkin or Squash; Grilled Red Pepper Diced into small cubes; Water Chestnut Coins; a very Hot Spicy Oil; a Chiffonade of Spinach, Seaweed, and Parsley Leaves; Nettle Gomachio. The stone is removed from the soup after tasting for flavor, but before eating. [Wine & Water Service]

Bread Course: “We are the experience of Earth which we consume.” One large (2 inch cube), toasted, well Herbed Crouton. Three Dipping Sauces are smeared on the plate to the South, West, and North. The sauces are inspired by the directions, correlating to Wind, Fire, and Water. [Wine & Water Service]

Main Course: “There are secrets hidden where you smell the soil moist.” Crisp Mushroom Ribbons: Freshly foraged mushrooms are cut into impossibly fine strips and quickly seared, arranged on the plate to create a triangular mound resembling a glorious bush. Garnish joyfully with small brightly colored edible flowers. This preparation rests atop a well marinated (sweet and hot), seared tofu steak crusted with cashews, pecans, and pink peppercorns. A moat of Sweet Garlicky Mushroom Broth Reduction encircles the masterpiece. Using fingers and licking the plate is highly encouraged. [Wine & Water Service]

Salad Course: “Courtship.” Basil Leaves are wrapped around individual Grape Tomatoes, Radish Rosettes, striped Cucumber Wedges, and floral arrangements of assorted raw Bean Sprouts, each leaf is pinned in place with a pick. A pyramid of Pungent Cashew Cheese rests on the plate as well, with an Herbed Lemony Balsamic & EVOO dressing Pollacked about, sparsely sprinkled with a scattering of Rock Salt and Capers. [Water Service*]

* No wine is offered during this course. One purpose of a salad course after main is to offer acid to the stomach. The competing flavor of vinegar from wine fermentation is subtracted from this course to allow the salad’s dressing to shine.

After this course the table is cleared and crumbed for dessert.

Dessert Course: “Incentive to Live.”

1. The server presents each guest with a glass of Dessert Wine, (or Non-Alcoholic Dessert Drink alternative), and a tray arranged with a number of high quality Dark Chocolate Pastilles textured with Cacao Nibs and Cacao Dirt. Alongside the pastilles are a few paper parcels rolled up & marked with pencil promoting the various Herbed Sugars and Tasting Powders inside, as is a small bowl of warm Drinking Chocolate.
2. The server pulls the guests’ seats back an adequate distance from the table. Each server then pulls a string, allowing their apron to fall to the floor, revealing themselves more fully. The server moves to the front of their guest, and takes a comfortable position between the guest and dining table.
3. Each server asks permission to blindfold their guest, proceeding to do so as granted.
4. The server feeds their guest dessert, employing playfulness, good communication skills, and engaging in proper negotiation due to any instruction or requests. There must be one server for each guest at the table for this course to be properly enjoyed. [Dessert Wine & Water Service]

Rose Scented finger bowls are offered following this course

Fruit Course: “Hooked.” A Fishing Line is hung just above the hight of the guests’ heads, centered down the table. Hanging from this fishing line are various Exotic Semi-Dried Fruits (sturdy enough to hang on the line, though soft and chewy enough to easily bite). One must stand to eat. No hands. Fruit should be spaced so that it offers a playful intimacy to bite from the line at the same time as a guest nearby.

We leave the table for nightcaps and further entertainment…

After Dinner Drink Options:

1. Scotch (prepared with water or ice)
2. Grand Mariner
3. Coffee & Chai Service
4. Mint & Herb Blossom Water

Snacks: Bowls of Dried Fruit, Nuts, & Chocolate are set about

At this point we should be fully capable of entertaining ourselves…

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I hope you enjoy! Hire me and give me a budget! I adore producing events such as these.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

My writing takes time, research, and consideration: it is my art.
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