It Seems I’m a Little Sadistic

We probably knew this, yes, though I don’t frequently have reason to connect with that part of my psyche as I exercise the deeply masochistic sub/bottom parts most often. Following are a bunch of photos from a recent encounter I had teaching my friend to needle top. I teach needle topping not infrequently to friends and students, and so I get pin-cushioned relatively often by people who haven’t ever stuck pointy objects into someone else’s body on purpose before. On this occasion I took on a student who is sadistic, interested in needles, and who is also delightfully masochistic and was interested in knowing what it felt like to receive. I have needle topped myself many times but this was the first time I got to do the deed to another person. Gosh, I must say it’s lovely! I had no idea I would salivate while inflicting pain as much as I did, or really marvel at the needle-feeding so thoroughly. My student may have made a monster out of me, I’d love to do this regularly… Enjoy some photos and brief commentary:

Let’s start with blood: One of the things I love most about needle play is the bloodletting aspect of it. There is, I find, a calming release which happens when needles are taken out. I get completely amourous and sometimes buzz during this part of play.

This photo is from the first time I had needles stuck in me during a scene a number of years ago. It was a beautiful experience.

The photo after this one is a little brutal looking, so first I’ll show an example of one of the ways you can play with the relatively common “endorphin button” technique of needle stacking:

Endorphin button torture… Photo by Jroq Studios

Eight needles in a pretty packed space, all shallowly (read: painfully) placed. The pinks are 18g with 1 1/2″ length shafts, the blues are 23g x 1 1/2″, and the greys 27g x 1/2″ and are set in vertically. You may notice that the longer needles have been laced in and out a few times, have tips buried, and a few of them were backed out and put back in multiple times.

The endorphin button in its full glory. Photo by Jroq Studios

When I stuck my student I made a much smaller endorphin button, as we only had a few needles left:

I really enjoyed making this Dominant squirm. Even a few needles can do the job well when you know how to play with them. Photo by Jroq Studios

Here I am: Happy Needle Top!!!

Don’t mind me, just gonna squeeze these and press them in a bit… Photo by Jroq Studios

Who’s next? Anyone want to trade a massage for some needle play? This tour may have kicked the crap out of my hips, but it’s done a lot to make me smile too.

Play On My Friends,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and support me. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

W is for Whip

If you’re in the mood for playing a game, please fill out a card for my Truth or Dare blog…

By Edward Lund from Atlanta, in Edgewood, 30307, United States ([1]) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Does the sound of a whipcrack terrify you? In a good way? Please do read on… I have had a number of run-ins with the singletail whip, dragontail whip, and snake whip over the years; the most recent being about a month or two ago. So far my experiences with whips and their wielders have been absolutely fabulous ones, and they have left me wanting more. There are, as you can imagine, important things to think about and negotiate as a whip bottom. Whip play is an advanced activity which can leave permanent damage. Be smart, know what you’re getting into, and know what you want out of a scene. Here are some tips for playing with whips…

Negotiations: The first thing I want to know as a whip bottom is how much experience my Top has, however when I’m negotiating a scene with whips I’ll ask my partner a bunch of other things too, like these questions:

  • Have they ever scened with a whip before, and specifically with the whip they intend on using with me?

Not all whips are the same length, have the same rigidness or balance, are made from the same materials, or have the same handle style and weight. These factors and others can determine whether someone who swings a whip will do so confidently, accurately, and with an amount of force that’s appropriate.

  • Who taught them their whip skills (local groups or convention classes, specific teachers, online tutorials, other means of learning) and are they practiced at it?

I like to know my Tops are educated and have taken the time to cultivate a skill before letting them hit me with an object that can tear through my flesh and scar me forever. Notes for whip Tops too: If you don’t know where to get good instruction, I absolutely LOVE Kink Academy as a learning site. They have scads of great instructors sharing their knowledge and techniques through essays and videos ready for you whenever you want them. The membership doesn’t cost too much, and I think it is completely worth it. There may also be local groups who do whip practices or “munch” about it, so I enjoy using Fetlife as a way to find potential local help anywhere I go.

  • How do they deal with mistakes?

Playing with whips requires skill. Everyone makes mistakes. Having an idea about how your Top will react if a mistake is made is important. You should have an idea about how you’d like to be treated if you’re harmed during play, and make sure you don’t play with people who can’t or won’t care for you in those ways.

  • Does anyone have any blood-borne diseases or complications?

Ask. Find out the answers. Make informed choices about who you’re playing with and what precautions should be in place. When there’s a whip in play blood making an appearance is a possible (even probable) outcome. Have a plan about how blood and bodily fluids get dealt with, cleaned up, attended to, and how surfaces post-play get responsibly disinfected. If you are playing with someone who has hemophilia you need to think about breaking skin (even just a little) very differently than you do with people whose blood naturally clots.

  • Do you consent to being marked?

This one is really important to answer. If you do not consent to being marked do not get hit with a whip! It’s that simple, really. There are still a bunch of ways whips can make it into your scene, which I’ll mention a little later.

Checking in during a scene: Yes, it’s pretty straightforward, but important to remember nonetheless. Know your communication agreements with your top! Make sure you have clear signals. If you’re using safewords be clear on what they are and that they can be heard — your Top in this scenario will be a few feet behind you after all, not petting your back and staring lovingly into your eyes. Depending on where you’re playing you may or may not be able to hear one another over music or room sounds. The last time I played with whips I was at a party with loud music, and I was bracing myself on a kneeling bench. When my top asked me to react more loudly so they could gauge my reactions better over the music, rather than feel as though I had to “act out” all of my reactions during the scene, I asked to move the bench in front of a big mirror so we could see one another better. It was fantastic! I could surrender fully to each heavenly moment of pain processing masochistic zen, and my partner could see every inch of smile plastered on my face. They could see when I needed a second longer, and they could really enjoy the moments of terrified glee flit across my kisser as they threatened and challenged my limits with words and whip cracks… It made communication between us simple and clear, and in an hour+ long whip scene, that’s a pacing blessing! If you don’t have (or don’t want to use) a mirror, making sure you are using your safeword is important, as is checking in with the bottom regularly and reading body language. I enjoy using the “red, yellow, or green?” inquiry system every now and then during a scene, which can help pacing in a scene, as well as the scene’s intensity grow and cooldown smoothly.

My very happy butt after an hour of being hit with whips of many makes…

Marks and First Aid: Whips can bruise, whips can break skin, whips can make you bleed, whips can leave marks, scars, keloids, and long term discoloration. I am a performance artist. Therefore when I am counting back how many days I have to heal before my next audience reveal, I count in weeks (sometimes months) rather than days for whip play. Whips often leave textured marks which take much longer than straight up bruising to heal, and they often stay discolored for a very long time before fully (if ever) fading. As with everything blood play: BE PREPARED! Have rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle nearby to clean anything that gets blood on it. Have adhesive bandages, gloves, and antiseptic ointment at the ready. You may also want to have water, juice, and a snack around, as the bottom may need to pep up from lowered blood-sugar, or a shaky overdose of adrenaline. Have a working phone available to call for help if something goes terribly wrong, or to call a cab if the bottom thought they’d be ready to operate heavy machinery and their post-scene blood-buzzing subspace-drunkenness won’t let up… Know how to clean and dress a wound. Know how to disinfect the whip and playspace after.

The Whip Itself: Whips can break skin and make you bleed. Whips also often smell like leather, which if you’re anything like me can cause you to rub up against them like a cat in heat… Therefore many people owning lovely, expensive, and hard to clean whips will only use them on people they are familiar with and care to clean up after. Whips are often made of leather — not a material you can just throw in the dishwasher — in fact, a material which requires specific and sometimes many-stepped maintenance. It is important to keep one’s whip’s clean, disease-free, and uncontaminated with skin irritants. It is just as important to make sure the whip used is in good repair — no braiding tears or other issues which could cause a mistake to happen during play. Ask your Top how they care for their whips and clean them, and whether blood or come ever come in contact with the parts you’ll be touching or touched with. Someone who knows how to care for their tools may not know equally well how to care for you, but at least they have proven they are inclined toward learning.

Other ways of using a whip: Not all whip play is about getting stripes laid down. Before I ever had the pleasure of having a whip crack like a white lightening bolt of pain across my skin, I was introduced to the use of one as a psychological torture device. During a Fetish Fair class about various types of bondage, just the sound of a whipcrack nearby was all one sub needed to: “not move until I say so”… The handle can be used for impact too or for prodding sensitive bits. The smell of leather is a wonderful part of leather toys, as is the feeling of one draped over your back and shoulders and snaked all over your body. If you enjoy some Catwoman, Zorro, or Indiana Jones fantasy play, a whip might be in your costume closet, and that’s not even touching the level of gear fetishization which can come from being into pet play as a human horse handler!

Your own intuition and voice: Your body is an amazing thing which will heal from all sorts of roughhousing and abuse, especially with a good warm-up… This doesn’t mean you should let anyone use your body for whatever they like (even within the bounds of your requests) based solely on a promise to respect you. People have different ideas about what things mean and miscommunication rules our lives here on Earth. So use your sense when you negotiate. Pay attention to how someone makes you feel: does negotiation feel safe with this person; are they saying all the right things but you feel strange about something; are they listening or only talking about what they want out of the scene; do you get the sense your safety is being taken seriously; does this person come off angry or resentful or potentially abusive or in other ways unsafe? There are a million things we ask when we’re negotiating — particularly with someone new — and I find there are a million other things I realize I forgot to ask in the moments between the negotiation ending and a scene beginning. For Tops and bottoms both: use your gut! Use your voice. If you have to stop or pause a scene to ask a question or clear up what you think might be a misunderstanding, do it. Much better to ruin the moment than ruin a play partner, a relationship, or your reputation. Also there’s no shame in starting off small, if you are a little unsure about how someone plays, consider leaving the whips for session 2 or 3 or 10, when you have a clearer idea about how flow and communication works between you and what your partner’s style and abilities are like. First get hit with something that probably won’t leave you with a big burly scar, to see if you like the way a new Top pays attention to your pain threshold and physical well being. While trust is an important component to successful kinky play, do not trust blindly — no one can take care of you as well as you can.

Whips are a practically universal symbol of the “Dominatrix look”, and are a fitting one too, as the proper use of a whip requires time, thought, energy, skill, practice, and consideration. As exciting as it may be to have a new experience, remember that not all toys will do the same types of harm, negotiate wisely, and play with mates who will treat you — in pain, in pleasure, in perfect scene, or in a moment of mistake — well.

Play On My Friends,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

N is for NEEDLES

Hypodermic needles by Intropin

Hypodermic needles by Intropin

Would you like to try some needle play?  How do  you feel about play piercing?  Wanna use my sharps later?  Can I poke you!?  These are all questions you might hear if you’re interested (or you partner is) in having holes put temporarily in your body.  Play piercing is a type of activity some people consider edge play, though I find it remains a pretty common and enjoyable pastime for sadists, masochists, body modifiers, and the simply curious alike.  People who play with needles get a lot of different things out of the activity, let’s explore a little further…

Why needles?  People who talk about why they like play piercing often talk about endorphins.  It’s an activity that tends to release endorphins pretty quickly without a lot of time or focus needed to get things going that way.  Many who are into play piercing also mention how much they value the connection, energy play, or emotional attachments they might experience.  It can be a profound and intense type of play to undergo, a spiritual one, calming, centering, grounding, exciting, orgasmic, frightening, overwhelming, bonding, unexpected, the list goes on.  If you’ve had a part of your body pierced before you have a little idea of what play piercing might be like, if not the concept may seem bizarre or scary.  Regardless, if you’re interested in the experience, I highly recommend trying it out with a trustworthy and experienced partner.

Prep ideas:  You might have already guessed this is an activity that requires a higher degree of safety considerations than some other kink activities.  Among these you will want to consider hygiene, skin prep, needle gauge, number of needles and amount of time it will take to complete the planned task, needle placement according to anatomy and presentation, the sterility of your environment and tools, health risks, appropriate used needle disposal, pain processing techniques, and clear ongoing communication.  Before sticking someone (and possibly yourself) with a sharp object TAKE A CLASS IN THE SUBJECT.  That is the clearest advice I can offer.

Negotiation points to hit:  As you can imagine, negotiation when you are about to be a pin cushion/make someone a pin cushion is import and thoughtfulness, thoroughness, and really great communication are key.  Aftercare is an important point to hit, as are a lot of the general negotiation basics, but there are some points that are specific to needles and blood play that you want to make sure you cover.  Both the poker and pokee should talk about their situations concerning many of these:  know if your partner has any blood borne diseases – what were the last dates and results of any testing they’ve had done, what risk factors apply to their lives?  Ask about other health issues too: diabetes, asthma, hemophilia, medications they may be on like blood thinners, know whether your partner is sober!  This is not a mode of play for the even slightly inebriated for reasons of good judgement, because of a need for clear feedback on sensation, and the higher than average risk of bleeding heavily.  Know if the person has any idea about how they’ll react to being pierced psychologically, emotionally, and physically.  Be able to guide the bottom in breathing techniques and pace play for adequate pain processing.  Make sure that the bottom knows that if they call safe word in the middle of a piercing session that it will still take a little while to undo all the work that’s been done – the situation of the scene will not magically just evaporate in a second, and though the undoing can be done quickly, efficiently, and with regard to a lack of further agony being inflicted, it will still take some time and attention before being fully released.  Make sure you talk about the lasting marks that needles leave.  They will probably not be permanent scars, though there will be marks visible for a few days after play.  These are just some considerations.  I encourage you to do your research and think about more.

My first endorphin button! A lot of fun.

My first endorphin button! A lot of fun.

The holes in my body:  Well, I have a few of them.  Some are designed by nature, others self-imposed.  My first experience with needles was at an event years ago where a local performance artist was pierced with a number of needles on stage during a show I was also performing in.  I was mesmerized and drawn to the piece, and figured right there that I wanted to experience that some day.  I got my chance almost exactly a year ago during my first ever kink scene.  The person I was playing with and I had been playing for about 5 hours that evening and we ended the night with play piercing as our final stop.  I loved it.  You can imagine at that point I was pretty exhausted, but I was also very relaxed.  There was no resistance to the activity and I found myself not only calm, but loving the sensations, surprised that it was as easy as it seemed to be, and definitely struck by endorphins.  One of the things I like most about play piercing is that it is so connected to breath.  To pain process, to fear process, and to pierce evenly and confidently the piercer and the piercee will use breath to guide when to push a needle in or pull one out.  It makes the rhythm of what’s happening a beautiful and connected experience as well as one that leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment…  Before the evening ended I had 13 needles in my right breast arranged into an “endorphin button” – meaning laid over one another so that when it was pushed on it would cause a certain amount of pain which released endorphins.  I had another few sharps piercing my outer labia, a couple laced multiple times through my left breast, and one stuck extremely painfully, half-jokingly, and very briefly into the arch of my foot.  It was a blast and I would repeat the experience without hesitation.  After that session I was absolutely afloat with beautiful fuzzy warm endorphin laced feelings (though after 5 hours of play I don’t know what else I might have been feeling?).  I have a special place in my heart for the activity to say the least.

Where can I learn more?  Good for you!!!  This is definitely a game in kink that you want an experienced and well informed top performing.  It helps to have a well informed bottom in this activity too – don’t shy away from speaking out if you see something play out in an unsafe manner in your scene.  By agreeing to do activities many consider edge play, you should also be agreeing to be more stringent in your technique, communication, and expectations.  I definitely recommend Kink Academy for further education in this subject.  There are a bunch of videos up about safety, negotiation, and what to be thinking about when playing with sharps, as well as videos on how to do it and more on what people feel.  Fetlife is also a great way to find classes on the subject, learn more, and get support from the community of people who love it.  You can’t do enough reading, writing, and sticking oranges in your pursuit of the perfect prick…  and at some point getting really great about your negotiation methods and jumping in is the only way to get the experience and confidence you need to be a great play piercer/needle aficionado/sharps wielder!  Good luck sticking it to the bottom; I hope everyone gets what they came in for.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

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