W is for WARTENBERG

Wartenberg WheelThe Wartenberg Wheel was created to test nerve sensitivity in patients who might have brain damage.  If your toes curled in one direction or another or not at all as the spikey little pinwheel rolled across the bottom of your foot, the examinier could discern what might be going on with your body.  It didn’t take very long at all for tailors, hedonists, sadists, and sensualists of various persuasions to arm themselves with this very same tool.

Will a Wartenberg Wheel draw blood?  Yes.  Those spikes are real and really sharp, so be careful.  Used while applying enough pressure, the little dots resulting on the flesh will fill with blood, and your partner will struggle just a tad (or more) more than they did before.  The wheel is made from metal though, and can be cleaned and sanitized using various methods including boiling – try the dishwasher, though be careful or wear a few thimbles when reaching into your silverware rack.

Artistic Flair:  The Wartenberg Wheel is a great tool to add to the bag of someone who enjoys scratch marks, knife play, rope, and other temporary marking devices.  Remember that skin that’s been bound tightly is going to mark more readily and be more sensitive than skin that is loose from any tension.  Find out which parts mark most easily, and which refuse to leave a spot.  Play with your little ant trails and turn your bottom into a masterpiece of Pointalistic design…

Wartenberg Marks ThighBe thoughtful:  This little instrument might seem like a no brainer, but think and be careful before using it.  Talk to your partner about areas of their body they would NOT like you to drag it across.  Think about the anatomy of nerve endings and where they surface the most or are clustered, are parts of the body more ticklish or tough, what does the pace do to sensation, what types of reactions are you looking for in your partner when you drag it out?…  Play with the tool slowly and carefully at first and then start to branch out and experiment.  You might find out that playing the scientist and watching your partner’s parts respond is endlessly fascinating as your patient begs you to (without safe-wording) “please please please stop/slow down/ahhhhhhrrrgg!”.

The little manual toy that really packs a favorite punch:  I LOVE my Wartenberg Wheel, as have various partners of mine (some maybe a little too much).  Those little teeth can tickle, unnerve, hurt, make me scream or shift uncomfortably in my seat, and they’ll scratch that itch perfectly every time!  What a wonderful gadget, and it is incredibly easy to use…  My favorite (or least favorite depending on how you look at it) experience with the wheel was when a partner of mine used it on my knees.  I have the overly sensitive kneecaps of a dancer and even managed to shatter one of them a number of years ago.  If there is an awful shimmery nerve rich part of my body that I’d like to have sharp objects stay away from, my right knee is at the top of the list…  So, of course, this is the favorite part of my body for the little wheel to explore when wielded by my sadistic partner.  Excruciating.  Yet, I live on…  A partner of mine also becomes a little kid when playing with this object, which I find fun, curious, and divine.  I can watch this partner trace up and down my body, make pictures in my skin, watch me react and writhe, with this beautifully attentive smile that is so innocent and sweet it makes me enjoy the journey all the more.  Like running a toy car all over my body, this meditation in rolling a thing over my curves and exploring all the surfaces to be found is a night of youthful smiles, and explorative awe.  I feel chosen in these moments; blessed to offer my body for the lesson.

Keep in mind:  That the Wartenberg Wheel will poke holes in everything.  You might want to consider keeping it in a hard case rather than wrapped in cloth, paper, or something else that will be shredded and poked through in time.  Also consider what you pack it with – your glass toys will be just fine next to the little metal devil, but your nice silicone doesn’t stand a chance, and keep it as far away from condoms/diaphragms/dams/gloves/lube pillows and other contraceptive supplies as you possibly can.

So, here’s to tiny little pokey things that make us both giggle and squeal; I hope you have fun playing with the simple and delightful Wartenberg Wheel!

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Decoupage

I want you to cut me.  Not with a big heavy broad chef’s knife, or the dagger looking so beautiful and mean, but the small thin, delicate one.  The one that separates clouds from the sky, kittens from their window perches, and little girls holding flowers from the meadow behind,  I want the knife that can free anything at all from it’s steadily monotonizing environment, allowing new context in our rearrangement.

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Photo by David Aquilina

If you trace lines along the sides of my body that will fit perfectly in a cage, I am yours forever skulking around between these bars.  Should you shape me into a flying monkey’s form, I’ll fetch your broom and wait silent for your next move.  If I’m to be a battleground, I wait for soldiers to nestle themselves into my curves at night and dream of safety blanketed by my scent.  And if I am me, walking on the ocean’s surface toward the dawn, I’ll feel your hands and warm breath at my back.

I want you to cut me.  Shape me into pieces and scenes that are surprising and delight.  I’ll be your monster, your favorite shirt, your washer woman, your mechanic, your blanket, your paper, and your pet.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

On Being Selfish

Photo by Becca A. Lewis

Photo by Becca A. Lewis

I was telling my partner what felt good to me while being asked to do something.  After hearing me out, my partner asked what the difference between these four asks was:

I think you should paint your toes.

I really like seeing your toes painted, and it’s been a while.

I really like seeing your toes painted and it’s been a while.  Will you paint them?

I really like seeing your toes painted and it’s been a while.  Will you paint them for me?

Below is a short explanation of what I had to say.  Please keep in mind that this is my response and you are completely within your right to adamantly disagree with everything I have to say, and your relationships do not have to end up looking anything like mine, so long as we all find our bliss somewhere.

“I think you should paint your toes.” A command.  It is not necessary in a command to find connection with me when letting me know what is desired.  I will most likely feel a little confused or panicked (my baggage, not yours) about why he wants this, what it means, whether or not I can engage a discussion about it, etc.  This is not my favorite way to be asked for anything; in fact I find it emotionally and pleasurably distancing.  Someday I may not find it abrasive, or I may desire to feel that way – there will be a lot of trust-water under the bridge when that day comes.

“I really like seeing your toes painted, and it’s been a while.”  This is not a question.  My partner is passively topping, and I really like to be asked questions.  It just feels respectful.  I am likely to feel annoyed that he isn’t actually asking me for anything, yet seemingly expects me to give him what he’s mentioned.  This does not feel like a partnership proposition to me, nor a D/s engagement, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to get out of it when I’m not even being asked.

“I really like seeing your toes painted and it’s been a while.  Will you paint them?”  Now we’re starting to get somewhere.  Technically there is nothing whatsoever wrong with this question.  For me though, I still do not know what I am supposed to get out of it.  I like doing things for my partner, that is a major motivation for me.  This question feels like an upkeep request rather than a connected and loving desire I can fulfill.

“I really like seeing your toes painted and it’s been a while.  Will you paint them for me?”  Ahh, yes!!!  This one fits like a glove.  I am being told that I am appreciated, that my partner likes something about the way I look and desires to see me look that way, and I am being asked to do it for him.  For some reason those two tiny little words make all the difference to me.  All of a sudden I find myself smiling and actually desiring to say yes.  I feel giddy from the request, and I think giddiness is one of the major reasons I signed on to D/s in the first place.

After hearing all this he said he understood and wanted to make me feel that way, but he had a hard time phrasing questions in terms of “for him”.  It was scary and it made him feel selfish.  “But Doms are supposed to be selfish”, I said with a grin.  In reality what I meant is that I enjoy making my partner happy, and to do that I need my partners to be just selfish enough to tell me exactly what makes them happy.  I pointed out that s-types (read that term as you like: submissives, bottoms, slaves, or whichever label you most enjoy) are supposed to be selfish too – I feel completely selfish when my back is being bitten from top to bottom (one of my favorite activities), and I just lie back passively and take it with complete and utter bliss.  I know that my partner likes what they’re doing, and I know my partner likes my true response to the moment, so why would I rob my partner of their pleasure by being one ounce less than selfish in that scenario?

Perhaps this is one of the greatest reasons I’ve discovered to date to have a D/s dynamic – to have it written into the rules that it is ok to ask your partner for the things you most desire, and to know that they wouldn’t be in the relationship if they weren’t open to (at the very least) just that.

PS:  It’s pretty damn selfish for me to have asked to be spoken to in certain ways anyhow, I think 😉

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

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