Photo by Rachel Leah Blumenthal
This photo was taken at a show a number of years ago. I was at the CD release party for a friend’s band, performing as MC and doing a number of acts myself. It happened on the Spring Equinox. This year I am performing for Beltane in a ritual space.
I’m in a place of change within my career (appropriate for the time of year). More and more parts of my message traipse across continually blurred lines within my artistic and personal practices. I’ve been having a hard time writing this month, and I think it’s because there’s an internal struggle waging inside me about the legitimacy of being who I am — how to embrace and balance all that I do.
Is my art separate from my kink writing? Is my kink writing separate from my personal relationships? Are my personal relationships separate from my professional relationships? Are my professional relationships meant to be ones where I put on a public face or a show to please others outside of my personal comfort zone?… To all of these questions I answer a resounding “No!”, yet still, my ease has a hard time being as clear as my heart and my mind, and discomfort, fear, and worry that my movements are incorrect sometimes overwhelms my sense of what’s right. I struggle.
What is it I want to say? I want to say that we get to be who we are dynamically in our lifetimes. Sexually and nurturingly, with childish intuition and with wisdom, fiercely and subtly. I want to create a performance where people are able to use my body as an altar for their own process, a wishing fountain, a plot of earth to seed with visions for the next year. This is, after all, what I have to offer.
Descending from winter stress, cold weather contemplation, sitting and planning, blanket-wrapped comforts from the cold, it’s time to undress, to step onto cool wet earth, to see a point on the horizon and set out towards it… I don’t know what this will look like in the end, but I know enough to keep my feet on the ground.
Play On My Friends,
~ Karin
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~Thank you.
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