I am sitting in my writing chair at this moment, in the middle of a very busy week. It’s the first time I’ve sat here for too long. I am listening to the sounds of a new submissive-in-training vacuuming my space. Pleasure. Wholly. His service is allowing me to write this essay right now. It is a beautiful act of kindness and service from a person who I also get to fill up with care and joy. My offerings are performed in other ways…
What I require of the submissive people I train is no small list. I expect honesty, and I expect they’ll be open with me (sometimes painfully so). I expect that they will be good at what I ask them to do—or quickly take up the slack and learn to be. I expect them to be detail oriented, to ask questions when they don’t know how I want something done, and to be humble when I correct them or have them do a thing over. I expect submission and all of the grueling efforts service submission covers, and I also expect resilience and the satisfaction of knowing a good job has been done and there will be reward. I expect, especially as time moves on, a deep and meaningful connection to one another.
Reward is varied and wide-ranging in form. Time with me is often desired, body worship, a good flogging or another form of sensation play, learning to be by my side socially at kink-positive events, or being offered a place as my demo-bottom in classes that I teach. I often offer insight into personal matters, help cultivate less harmful coping strategies and practices (when that’s a thing), offer support to people who have a hard time advocating for themselves so they start speaking up, creating their own space in life, as they want or need to be. My touch is sought after, energy exchange, grounding by way of my hands, words, or perhaps a leash… the options are endless when you have a creative mind and certain sensitivities. My desire to offer is deep. When I’m near a person I care for who has clearly stated (or demonstrated) needs, I want to satiate.
This particular trainee was brought to tears during his interview because I took the time to look inside, to see and to tend to the questions he wrestles with, and perhaps release some feelings he’s had few options to do much with—other than hold onto them or hide. I offer him something he craves: ownership. A place. A world where he knows that he belongs, and his language of love (clearly service) is honored, acknowledged, desired, and valued properly.
It’s an important bond, and I must be careful not to overstep. I must not take too much away, and I must tread somewhat lightly especially in the beginning. I must at least clearly know my sub’s desires and boundaries. I’m able to write about this right now because there is a sound of a vacuum nearby, and I have the time to settle in and think. I’m working right now at two of my jobs, and I find in that reality a deep pleasure, absolutely.
I have not always been good at this. I have not vetted people well enough, for one. It is hard to train a person who doesn’t understand this particular type of exchange deeply. People stab at the idea, thinking they can just dress up and play at being maid, doing nothing at all for the actual cleanliness of my space, expecting I’ll return sexual favors (which are absolutely and purposefully missing from my list of Dominant offerings). Those are not the games I play. I’ve tried to be too much of a pleaser in the past, not knowing that what was craved was my presence and creativity. It dulls the transaction to only play in ways which check off your sub’s boxes. It makes one’s exchanges measured and less related to thoughtfulness, passion, and the unexpected adventure many seek. I have not made clear which moments of interaction were of D/s significance, and which were friendly and in passing—expectation management is core to every relationship. My list of desires for help has not been as well defined or strong, and asking apologetically for service is less than a turn-on to those who truly desire to serve and take my command. I have learned a lot, and am still very much learning.
Soon he will be done with his tasks and we will connect until he must leave. His heart raced when I set My collar around his neck, and he will probably feel things when it’s time for me to take it away, murmuring, “I release you”, in his ear, allowing him to move upward and outward into his day. Both moments are meaningful for each of us. I also feel them deeply.
What a blessing it is to serve one another. What a joy to share space and duties, skills, and consideration. What we do for one another saves our own selves from the darkness of everyday.
What a privilege is this pleasure.
Play On My Friends,
~ Creature
This writing takes time, research, and consideration. It is my art.
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