Emotional Care in D/s

What exactly is Dominance and submission? Within the idea of BDSM how does D/s function? How does an agreed upon relational power imbalance effect the people who choose to engage in those roles short term? How about longterm? Does the Dominant partner experience the same things as the submissive partner during play, service, or other activities? Does negotiating a role within an unbalanced power dynamic mean that you yourself are lesser than or above your partner(s) or any other person you share time and energy with? When a submissive is having a hard time and becomes emotional, or a Dominant is domineering and fails to correctly read a situation and respond appropriately, has all sense flown out the window and is it impossible to regain a healthy balance? Is it possible to build upon mistakes and outbursts, utilizing those less-than-desirable behaviors as steps toward better coping mechanisms? Can we look at unhealthy habits or behaviors and develop plans for how to more acceptably process fear and negative reactions in the future?

Variations of these questions come up during relationships, and will definitely come up in ones which have negotiated power differentials as a part of their agreements. Nothing in life is perfect, but if I’ve learned anything in my 41 years relating to others (for better and for worse), it’s that the process of living can lead us closer to the agreeableness we’d like to achieve and to better understandings of one another—if we’re willing to be introspective and confront ourselves about experiences that don’t feel great. I think it’s important not to throw the baby out with the bathwater as we practice caretaking and interdependence. There’s no map showing where we’re going in life, and though we can learn from others at the end of the day those lessons mean naught if we can’t integrate the knowledge unlocked by them into our way in life.

I’ve had experience being submissive in a longterm relationship, and I am someone who is currently Dominant in particular relationships (I’ve also had a number of relationships which weren’t kinky or of the D/s variety). I can definitely say that (for me) the emotions which are pricked on either side of the slash are not the same ones. The nature of unbalancing a dynamic also redistributes meaning to both sides of the field on which we are playing.

When I was submissive to a Dominant partner, every little moment felt bigger than it was probably intended to be. If I was caressed it meant the world to me, if I was told I had disappointed my Sir or if I was forgotten about I fell into despair. As the submissive partner I had signed onto a position of having to trust my Dominant for many many things. I needed to trust their skills during play and that they wouldn’t harm me, trust them to watch out for me in play spaces or in public if I was somehow compromised by them, trust that my feelings were cared for, that my wishes would be respected, that I wasn’t being purposefully misled or manipulated, and that I would only be tasked with offering, performing, and taking what I could actually bear… it’s a very vulnerable place to be. The nature of submission is fraught with potential for knee-jerk reactions and emotional questioning. When I needed to not be submitting, I had to consider what that meant for my relationship, and speak to it responsibly so that expectations and trust could be maintained between us.

When engaging in a Dominant role, I must remember to be grateful for the engagement of my partners, and that my submissives don’t (or may not) hold the same experiences, knowledge, or skill levels I do in various activities. When I am teaching chores to be done specifically to my liking I must honor the learning process and remember to have patience, sometimes teaching a task more than once, sometimes teaching it in a different way or with an eye to the needs and learning methods of each particular submissive I teach. I practice listening and being nonjudgemental to understand what perspectives and situations motivate or hinder each partner I consensually take dominion over. I spend time thinking about what I like and desire, learning and practicing new and better skills, and I question my own authority regularly so that I might be fair and ethical in more cases than not. When I need to not be Dominating, I consider what that means for my relationship, and speak to it responsibly so that expectations and trust can be maintained between us.

Caretaking from a submissive standpoint is different than caretaking from a Dominant one. Think about it. Taking pride in and enjoying making the perfect cup of coffee to serve to my Dominant partner so they can experience some extra energy and pleasure while they work is a form of caretaking, as is cooking or cleaning their home or giving them my body to manipulate. Teaching my submissive to meditate, how to eat healthfully, how to care for themselves, planning experiences, and working a submissive’s body over are some of the ways I caretake as a Dominant partner. The end result of both positions in D/s coming together is still a relationship seeking equal energy flow in and out, maintaining balance.

It’s normal to care for others and seek care and nurturing in return. We learn from one another. Opposites often attract. When we have no one to care for us in the ways we prefer to be cared for, we have ourselves. Relationship with self is one dynamic which never goes away, though it may change greatly over time and is informed through myriad experiences. We need people outside of ourselves though, it can’t be self-soothing all the time in life. Perhaps that’s one reason why when we find a good fit in relationship, it can feel as though everything is dissolving away into overwhelming chaos when we find ourselves stuck or on the outs. It’s important to examine what about the relationships we’re in work for us, and what about them do not. We owe it to ourselves and to one another to consider what changes we need when those thoughts and feelings arise. Nothing is forever, it’s the nature of life to endure change and even to seek it out. In order to stay with a relationship for a long period of time we often must undergo multiple changes, autonomously and with one another.

I believe in the healing power of intentional relating. We cannot always be in control of a situation or of ourselves. We can, however, better learn how to less damagingly dip in and out of the flow when we find ourselves stressed out, triggered, in a rut, beating ourselves up, or making mistakes we’re mortified at having made. Sometimes what we need most from relationship partners is the understanding that there must be support and room to grow on our own.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

My writing takes time, research, and consideration: it is my art.
Please help me continue by joining my Patreon campaign, Donating, or booking a professional or educational Session with me. Thank you!

Art, Herbs, and Kink

I’ve been decorating tincture bottles with wire, inspired by the massive amounts of herbal research I’ve been doing in the past few months. They make me happy. The idea is to develop this aesthetic further as I explore my thoughts on worth, the economy, classism, energy, healing, nature, capitalism, availability, and erasure (or invisibility).

I filled a clear bottle with a St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) oil I made. It’s great for healing cuts, bruises, scrapes, nerve pain, and sore muscles and it has such a lovely pink color! I’ve begun labeling with oil pens using both a common name and binomial nomenclature (“latin” name), while inscribing lot numbers on the bottom of filled bottles. I’m still developing exactly how I intend for them to be labeled fully, but it’s a good start.

The photo below is a Damiana tincture I made next to a green bottle I decorated. I’ll be concocting a Damiana elixir or bitter from the tincture to fill it with.

What does this have to do with being kinky? Good question! This weekend I was at a queer and kinky play party. I took a “Hot Nuts” challenge someone decided to lead at the event, wherein I ate 10 extremely spicy peanuts, 2 at a time at 5 different heat levels. The first level (the least spicy) started with Carolina Reaper saturated peanuts, and moved on to Carolina Reaper + Ghost Pepper, all the way up to Carolina Reaper, Ghost Pepper, and some insane number of units of pure Capsaicin added in! There was no drinking or eating of other foods between rounds, and we had to sit and wait at least 2 minutes after all the spiced nuts had been chewed and swallowed in order to win the challenge.

I’ve never done a spicy heat challenge before. I don’t even really eat spicy hot food much. I am a masochist though! It was a trip. I loved the challenge, and thoroughly enjoyed the heat and pain which bloomed fiercely in my face and throat. I laughed through the twitching, snotting, and uncontrollable streaming of tears down my very red face for approximately 30 minutes, which is how long the challenge took including the pain that stuck with me afterwards. What I did not like was the cramping and intense nausea which incapacitated me for another half hour when the spice worked its way past my diaphragm toward my stomach. I offer many apologies to the other event attendees for taking over one of our bathrooms for a solid 15 minutes as I alternated between laying on the floor, trying to poop, and dry-heaving… Oy! I won alongside one other adventurer though!

The next day, as you can imagine, my stomach was not very interested in warm or stimulating foods. Elimination was rather punishing as well. I mixed some marshmallow root powder in cold water and shook it in a capped jar until it was nice and thick and viscous. I drank some and waited, and then took sips of it between mouthfuls of food. Marshmallow is the perfect herb to have on hand for this situation. Every single sip felt like a cool happy coating relaxing, nourishing, and comforting my digestive system from mouth to tummy (and beyond). It allowed me to eat without immediately having to use my bowels or getting stomach cramps. Such a lovely friend to have in my time of need.

In the future, should I be confronted with an opportunity like this again, hopefully I’ll be prepared ahead of time. In that instance I’d definitely take marshmallow infusion before eating the spicy things (and probably after), to enjoy my “neck up” masochistic experience without having to deal with that same amount of nausea and discomfort as it passes on down.

I suspect the same curiosity within me which adores breaking the body down masochistically and sadistically is the same curiosity which adores plant medicine and natural healing methodologies. One day perhaps I’ll spell out on my shingle, “Come session with the Dominant who breaks you down and patches you back up naturally!”. There’s something very primal and exciting about trusting one’s body, the skills of one’s friends, and Nature to provide challenging and healing experiences as we roll through life. This 21st century we’re in is overcomplicated and anything but natural when it comes to contemporary lifestyles. We live completely unsustainably, and we don’t have to. There’s a missing knowledge needed to bridge the gap. I want to be part of handing down these wisdoms. I want to offer opportunities for personal examination of physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually realized experiences. The current (overblown and unbalanced) emphasis on mental and intellectual note-taking fractionates what we know of each other and ourselves.

Onward, and into a
Temple of the Body
School of Experience
Love of the Earth that we come from and return to~
Art, Herbs, and Kink. 

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

My writing takes time, research, and consideration: it is my art.
Please help me continue by joining my Patreon campaign, Donating, or booking a professional or educational Session with me. Thank you!

Dear Creature: What Are My Kinky Motivations?

Dear Creature,

I hope you wont mind me asking you something, you seem to have such a wonderful grasp of the the dynamics and psychology of most things sexual. I, on the other hand, have only just discovered the “Domme Daughter/sub daddy” thing. Here’s the thing: as a single Dad whose wife passed when my daughter was only 3 years old, I raised her all on my own. She’s 33 now. I never had one single sexual or inappropriate thought about her. Never did. Never have. Never will. So… why is it that I found the dynamic of this scenario so very enticing when I stumbled across it online? What’s driving me? ~Stumped by Motives

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Dear Stumped,

What a great question! Many people struggle with similar questions when their fantasies are socially taboo. Sexual shame and sexual shaming is so prevalent in our society, it’s not just age players who worry about whether or not their desires are “wrong” or wonder where they even came from in the first place.

Sexual fantasies are stimulated by a number of factors, and we don’t always know exactly what drives them. Having an interesting fantasy is also not the same thing as desiring actualization of the fantasy played out in real life or within established relationships. Your interest in exploring a Dom Daughter/daddy sub dynamic could be rooted in lots of things. First, consider what about the dynamic is exciting to you.

When you’re faced with an unfamiliar intrigue you want to know more about, think about the specific parts of the dynamic or scenario that turn you on. This is a great way to suss out what attracts you to it. In my experience age play and related dynamics aren’t usually about “age” specifically (though for some people it is). More often than not people who engage in age play (Big/little, Little/big, DD/lg, Daddy/boy Mommy/boy, Mommy/girl, Caregiver/little, etc.) dynamics are seeking to create a safe space to experience things like: innocence, the idea of a simpler time in life, the joy of caregiving (giving and receiving), indulging the senses in less than grown-up ways (sometimes including adult activities), being allowed to play pretend or enjoy playtime, personal stress management for high pressure work, cultivation of relationships where you can enjoy being in charge without the usual consequences of pulling rank, wanting permission to get whatever you truly desire in a scene without feeling guilty for wanting certain things, or sometimes even just simply enjoying taboo and perverse concepts in a safe environment with consenting playfriends…

We’ve all been kids, and we’ve all had experiences being cared for in our youths. Regardless of whether or not a person has parenting experience, many people are interested in age play, kinky familial play, and exploring culturally inappropriate or taboo subjects. As a person who has parenting skills you might feel you’d be good at roleplaying that dynamic, which is certainly a relaxing and potentially stimulating concept. Maybe you adore nurturing, pleasing, or being at the mercy of someone smaller than you? The Daughter-as-Dom spin on the more common Daddy Dom/little girl (DDlg) dynamic might point to you not wanting to be in control, even as you enjoy caregiving or being a nurturing partner. We all grow up, but that doesn’t mean we stop needing playtime or to exercise our imaginations. 

More specific to this particular dynamic and role, when I brainstorm the idea of “daddy as sub”, I can come up with lots of ideas that make it an attractive play option:

  • Its intersection with age play
  • Fun with taboo and/or role play
  • Taking on the role of caregiver without that role being in conflict with having a sexual appetite in a relationship
  • Enjoyment of being in charge (Daddy) without having to be in charge of what happens (sub daddy)
  • A desire to be “taken” by someone smaller or more innocent than yourself
  • A love of cute things (if your fantasy Daughter is such)
  • Liking the idea of “teaching” someone about their sexuality on their terms
  • An attraction to youth explored consensually and legally
  • Desire to cater to or be in a relationship with a “Princess” type
  • There might be stories from your youth about this type of relationship being romanticized or sexualized
  • The power differential is different than what’s commonly depicted in D/s “norms”, which may give you freedom to distance yourself from other gendered stereotypes you might not be comfortable with
  • A desire to be Dommed by someone you feel safe with, more trusting of, or more deeply connected to than one who simply considers themselves Dominant
  • D/s that feels like it’s built off more equal ground (age differential favors Daddy, D/s differential favors Daughter)
  • There are hundreds of ideas I could generate about why this scenario is potentially attractive, but you’ll find more fitting answers exploring your own thoughts on the subject

You can travel as deeply as you like down the rabbit hole of psychological meaning making. At the end of the day, if an idea turns you on and negotiating play in a healthy manner with consenting adults is something you’d like to try, why not do just that? However, if your fantasy is more pleasurable than roleplay might be, just keep fantasizing.

Healthy BDSM encounters offer the opportunity to experience things we wouldn’t explore or can’t explore without negative consequences. We humans are curious creatures. When something is banned in society, it’s natural for a part of our brains to speak up and say, “but what if…?”. Consensual BDSM offers a sensual and sexual framework to explore these questions ethically, and (hopefully) gain pleasure from negotiating well with others!

When Rhode Island decriminalized indoor prostitution for six years at the turn of this last century, some interesting statistics surfaced. Specifically, in that period of time incidences of forceable rape went down statewide by 31%. The largest portion of that statistic applied to the city of Providence where much of the state’s sex work industry is centered. Rape declining by a third is nothing to scoff at! It was legal to engage in indoor sex work during that period of time, meaning sex workers themselves were able to report without consequence, so these numbers wouldn’t reflect that proportion of rapes shifting onto sex workers themselves. While we don’t know exactly why this happened, what it brings to mind is the possibility that people who may relieve sexual tension through non-consensual behaviors were presented with another less stigmatized outlet to fulfill their needs: legal, accessible, indoor working (which is statistically safer than street encountered) sex workers.

I bring this point up because there are people out there who do struggle with problematic thoughts, desires, fantasies, and urges which sometimes result in unsafe or violent behaviors. Whether a person is hiring a sex worker to help them address their needs, or they find relief with consenting partners utilizing BDSM activities and role play, the opportunity to shed shame and stigma while engaging in a fetish, fantasy, or fulfilling a need without harming others is a huge benefit to those people who might act out harmfully otherwise, their potential victims, and our larger community as a whole.

You’ve stated that your interest in Daughter Doms isn’t connected to your parenting relationship to a real human being. Honestly, there’s no reason it should be conflated as such in the first place. Your role as a parent is not the same as your role as a sexual human being. There’s no way to know for sure what specific mechanisms are at work for you outside your own thoughts on the subject. At the end of the day, if you’re attracted to the idea of being a sub daddy to a Daughter Dom, online BDSM communities like Fetlife are a great place to learn more about the dynamic. You can get to know others who enjoy that type of play too. Good luck kinking!

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

This writing takes time, research, and consideration. It is my art.
Please help me out by joining my Patreon campaign, Donating, or booking a professional or educational session with me. Thank you!

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