You Gotta Be Responsible

July 2, 2014 by
"AIDS awareness - HIV testing and treatment" mural from Mozambique. Photo by Jacopo Werther

“AIDS awareness – HIV testing and treatment” mural from Mozambique. Photo by Jacopo Werther

It’s been about three months since my last STI testing post, and my next appointment is already in the calendar for next week.  Today’s post is a nudge to you to think about how important it is to keep up on your personal health care.  Your status may not be something you think about a lot, but it is important for you and any and all of the partners and partners of partners you may be connected to…

Look at the National HIV and STD Testing Resources website if you don’t know where to get checked out.  They’re a great resource, especially for travelers like myself, the newer to non-monogamy types, those who’ve just changed partner status recently, and really anyone at all who wants to know what’s going on with their body.  Get tested as a treat to yourself.  Take a mental health day, walk in the sun, eat your favorite foods, take yourself out to something fun, and make an appointment to get your blood drawn, your urine tested, and have a quick chat with a healthcare professional who can answer some questions about your lifestyle realities including risk factors.  My love and support to you on that day.

In response to my post last wednesday, a friend posted this article from The Advocate on my FB page:  STUDY: Biphobia Puts Bisexual Men at Risk for STIs.  I have gotten a bunch of responses from people since last week’s post, and I thank you all very much for offering me your insights on the subject.

Please feel free to post/publish/share last week’s post far and wide: Male Sexuality as it Pertains to Other Men.  After an in person interview, a few chats, some personal accounts written to me, and other tidbits of fun, I’m ready for more!  Happy summer my friends.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Do you have a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Filed Under: Perspectives on Kink Blog Tagged With: , , , ,

Male Sexuality as it Pertains to Other Men

June 25, 2014 by
Photo by Victorrrmz

Photo by Victorrrmz

I am in need of help from people with a male perspective/experience who are willing to talk to me about their sexuality.

I am currently working on a project centered around the idea of men’s sexuality as it pertains to other men.  I am looking to collect stories, perspectives, and thoughts on the subject from as many sources as I can.

Please email me: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com
or comment below if you’re interested in helping or learning more and don’t mind sharing publicly. Here’s a little more about what I’m looking for:

It occurs to me that in the United States (and many other countries) boy people/people with a masculine perspective/body/gender/sex history are under a lot of different types of societal pressure when it comes to their understanding of self where it pertains to other men. I think our patriarchal reality perpetuates a lot of threatening and violent messages toward men on the subject of sexual interest or curiosity in other men.

The experience of male (identified or experienced) people who are attracted to, interested in, or curious about other men in any kind of sexual way are a subject of great interest to me, and one I would like to understand more fully. As a not-male person I would like to know better what that experience is like for the half of the population who does.

In the process of coming out to myself as some form of bisexual (I now identify as “sexual”) I hunted high and low for personal accounts of bisexuality, and I mostly found scientific writing which didn’t make me feel better about the emotional turmoil I was going through.  It did not suffice to better my understanding of my identity as I was feeling it for the period of time I was actively questioning, exploring, and coming to terms with who I might be and what that meant.  I got through that process with the support of a LOT of peers and a wonderful (mostly artistic) community…  I know men today who are going through this same questioning, and it has given me pause, made me curious about how that process might be different for guys.

So, people who know what I am talking about, I ask you to help me understand better.  Here’s what I am looking for from those who are interested in talking to me; please send me something relating to this list (it can be anything at all you think to be an interesting or personal perspective on the subject):

  • Coming out stories (regardless of whether you are straight, bisexual, curious, onmi, pan, gay… whatever), just stories about what coming out means or has meant to you.
  • Thoughts on the difference between your sexual orientation and your sexual behaviors (if there are any).
  • Thoughts or experiences about why men sometimes choose to be “on the DL” about their orientation or sexual behaviors, even with loved ones.
  • Links to your favorite erotica or porn or images (written, drawn, photographed, video… etc) that has to do with attraction to masculinity, or other men, or men and other genders.
  • Stories about various experiences you’ve had with people of various genders and how you feel it does or does not effect your orientation
  • Links or writing resources on whatever you might consider bisexual/queer/curious/etc sexiness
  • Stories of how your partner(s) have or have not helped you or supported you as you’ve come to terms with your desires/urges/interests/whathaveyou as you’ve looked at what those are.
  • Experiences you’ve had with other men and how that did or did not effect the way you look at your sexuality.
  • What you think the difference is between various sexualities and curiosities
  • Stories about questioning your sexuality that either end in you changing your feeling about your orientation or not.
  • Anything else this list makes you think of that I haven’t mentioned explicitly…

Thank you for your help, I look forward to reading as much as I can on the subject.  Please share resources and do feel free to write me if you are a non-male-identified person who also has thoughts on this subject.  I appreciate it all greatly.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Do you dave a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Filed Under: Perspectives on Kink Blog Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Munches

June 18, 2014 by
Photo by Xet.dk at the Danish language Wikipedia

The munch did not look like this at all.  (Photo by Xet.dk at the Danish language Wikipedia)

I went to my first real munch last week and it went smashingly.

Truth be told I’ve been to one once before, but it was very lightly attended and I was the only person there who didn’t know anyone, so I didn’t get as much from it as I wanted to.  I am usually much better at meeting people one on one and keeping in touch than showing up to groups and feeling awkward about how to proceed.  I must say that it was really lovely going to this event and meeting people casually who I would not necessarily bump into randomly in another setting.  It was grounding to be around other kinky people and talk freely about a lot of various topics including kink and non-kink.  I even made some new friends.

A munch, for those of you who haven’t heard the term, is a gathering for kinky people.  Munches are usually held at non-kinky public places (restaurants, cafeterias, cafes), though sometimes they might be held in private residences or kinky play spaces.  Usually there is a theme to the munch.  The one that I went to was a general BDSM/kinky community munch, and it was held in a mall cafeteria.  There are generally munches for any group: age play, female Dominants, whip enthusiasts, hypnosis players, TNG munches are generally for people 35 and under (meaning: The Next Generation), there are munches for people living in a particular area, etc…

Munches are generally recurring, possibly regularly scheduled, and hosted by one or two people who make the arrangements and post information and invitations.  Usually your host will be responsible for calling ahead to reserve a large table or section of a restaurant for a chunk of time, and often munch-goers are welcome to come and go over that time as they please.  As munches are often held in public places they generally require a “vanilla” or “street and family appropriate” dress code, and will sometimes make mention that kinky talk should happen in quieter tones so as not to disrupt the surrounding non-kinky patrons of whatever establishment they are held in.

It looked much much more like this. (Photo by David Hawgood)

It looked much much more like this – except in a mall, not at the British Museum. (Photo by David Hawgood)

While munches are not a place for playing with others, they are a place you can meet people who might invite you to play spaces.  They are definitely places you can learn about the places people in your community gather for play, skill shares, or classes, and sometimes a munch will serve as pre-party to an established play event (though to my knowledge that is rare).

Munches are a place for people who are interested in a particular theme to learn more and meet others who share the interest.  People who have been practicing “in the scene” for decades will be there, as well as newbies who aren’t even sure what they are truly interested in, and of course everyone in between.  At this munch there was a lot of eating, talking, exchanging ideas and references, plan making, catch-up between friends, meeting and introducing new people around, a game of Cards Against Humanity at one end of the table, and eventually the decision to extend the hours and take the group to another place to keep talking.  Brilliant!

You can find munches that are happening in an area near you pretty easily on Fetlife, and sometimes they’ll be posted on meet-up boards online.  Happy hunting, I plan on following up with the people I’ve met, and continue to keep my personal community growing.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor:  Do you have a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

Filed Under: Perspectives on Kink Blog Tagged With: , , , ,
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