Mining for Maleness

Boys Book PhotoLately I have been looking for books on what it means to be male and live a holistic and sensitive life embracing one’s male identity.  I have found very little of use out there.  It seems most book stores are full of tips on being a gentleman or fishing and fighting in their Male Studies section (if they even have such a section)…  Recently suggested to me by friends have been the titles:

  • Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack and Mary Pipher
  • The New Male Sexuality
  • The Joy of Sex
  • No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
  • Fire in the Belly by Sam Keene
  • Iron John by Robert Bly
  • www.MarkManson.net

At a used book store I found The Prince and the King: Healing of the Father-Son Wound by Michael Gurian, we’ll see how that one turns out, it’s an interesting take on masculinity at least…

I have been questing for these resources because of the relationship I am in with a cis-gendered male who has grown up with little support of his sensitive side, and has had little interest in the macho representation of masculinity he’s found pervasive in his communities.  I think it is important for people to be able to solidly understand cultural context for identity – both born and chosen – enough to build a strong personal point of view about the various components of who one is.  Without understanding context for “the rule”, it is hard to break from it, hard to critique it, and hard to embrace our innate personal differences in confident and healthy ways.

Let me know if you have any books, articles, or resources to add to the list. I’d love more input and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject too.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

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Be an ABCs contributor: Do you have a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event? Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site. Don’t know what to write about? Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently. Happy writing, and thanks!

Lengths

Lengths
By Karin Webb

The sweater yarn unravels
Broken skin peels down purple, dying off
Tears fall fast
Rolling toward winter
But this is not known snow

The cruel arctic village arising from nowhere discernable
Ending beyond visible
Springs up fast at my feet
A palace made for the Snow Queen herself
Invisible prison to lovers
The last stop most hearts will make

Cruel arctic village
Wound ‘round thick with thorns
Snags
Catches
Reaches for me as I pass
Grabs my strings
Decimating decency
Left bare
Shredded
Unprotected
I am gasping lungs of ice

Omnipotent Powers of Love and War cast their die, laughing
Square edges tumble toward stillness
Facing the frozen wind
I summon my entire weight in chi
Scream
Ground
Voice my cause to limitless chaos
Claim the Queen’s glassy-eyed guest beyond the gate
My stiff white knuckles rattle its make
Even faced off so unevenly
I will not choice to end

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor: Do you have a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event? Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site. Don’t know what to write about? Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently. Happy writing, and thanks!

Sitting with Fear

Photo by Becca A. Lewis

Photo by Becca A. Lewis

Fear is a part of who I am.  I cannot pretend it away or top it with defiance.  I cannot submit to it without allowing depression and anger to take me over.  I cannot ignore it lest it become a wall that no longer allows me to live the way I most want to be.

Fear is.  Simply.  When I let it.

I have power deciding what is best for myself when I am in conversation with my fear.  Talking with Fear I can see it better – the shape and weight, this shadow form effecting me.  I can understand the history fear brings with it – seduction to leave present and react with force that I gathered long before now.  I feel it’s breath, smell it’s scent, and understand it in animal terms when I brave looking fear in the eye and I approach it cautiously.

Understanding it better, I begin to live with my fear.  I drink tea and go about my day acknowledging its presence in the room around me.  Perhaps over time I make friends with my fear, and one day, even if it is not completely gone, I realize it is ok.  I can be happy, even with my fear, peaceful knowing it is unendingly in tow.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor: Do you have a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event? Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site. Don’t know what to write about? Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently. Happy writing, and thanks!

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