Something New

Do I look different?

I am having a hard time writing this post because I feel vulnerable. I’m excited and I want to tell everyone all the things. It’s not really new, just… finally. A coming out. After coming out about a million things in this lifetime, I think it would get easier, but it doesn’t. I still have to take a deep breath and dare myself to jump… Every time I put words to my behaviors it’s after a long struggle and someone giving me permission. No one is ever surprised, but that moment of saying it outloud can’t be taken back. The first time is always the hardest.

I’ve started working as a professional Dominant. And I love it!

ProDoming is potentially the most empowering thing I have ever done. It helps me know who I am. I have a world of fun within my scenes, and it offers many of my skills to my clients. There’s more to it than the satisfaction of a job well done though, getting paid what I ask for my time and talents, to be who I am, and to use my body, mind, emotions, intuition, my communication skills, imagination, sex geekery, and passion for being in the moment, is everything. I also find it incredibly healing and confidence building to tell a client what I will and will not do and have the answer to my outline be a respectful, “Yes, Sir”.

I love performing, and it is what I have pursued my entire life, but I don’t get paid what I should for being an artist. Doming uses all of my performance skills and commands a respectful pay grade. Do I think I’ll be able to do this long? I don’t know. I’m still learning, even after 6 years immersed in the kink community, with a few years teaching kink classes, and 22 years in sexuality education under my belt. I love to please. I love making offerings whilst reading what my sub needs moment to moment and fitting that into my personal desires and design. So far that’s what Doming feels like to me, and it feels sustainable.

Who will I become? No one but who I am. I intend on continuing in this job to the extent that I can do it my way (I mean, why try doing things any other way at this point?). If I dress femme it will be because I feel like it that day — and I don’t feel femme most (if any) days. I will be me, handling my clients the ways I see fit, and presenting myself in the ways that make me feel confident. Not coerced, not reaching beyond my boundaries, not playing games to attract someone’s eye who isn’t a good match for what I have to offer. I intend on being simple, perverted, happy to connect, sadistic, playful, fluid, imaginative, dandy, me.

I always want to encourage the people around me, my students, my audience, my friends and lovers, to play. I think that’s what makes D/s, BDSM, and kink fun to being with. If you’re interested in working with me drop me a line. As one friend said, “I can’t wait to see how this influences your stage life”. I’m also excited to see where my solo show, NO SHAME, goes from here. There is more of it to develop, and I do think working in the domain of sexuality and sensuality is part of my story. Wish me well.

Play On My Friends,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and support me. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Complete Human Beings

BWcult-322 CCI think it takes a lot of complicated math to look at people as the complex human beings that they are.  Fear is a big player in our incapacity for seeing the many steps that make up a person’s path.

I have been a professional storyteller since the age of 11.  I have been a children’s theater teacher, an after school art teacher, a touring puppeteer, and owned my own puppetry business.

I have also been a sexuality educator for most of my adult life in one way or another.  I have worked at a sexuality boutique, taught toy parties; I am a kink writer, drag and burlesque performer, and adult woman with my own sex life outside of the personas I create for work.

Are these things at odds?  I don’t think so.  Knowing who to talk to about what and when, having boundaries about what people want from me, and knowing when it’s appropriate to bring up particular subjects, these are all skills I’ve learned along the way to being this complete (and still evolving) human being that I am.

As there is joy in the world, let there be light for all.  There is enough room for the spaces that make each one of us safe, and an acknowledgement that sometimes we have to share the road.  There are ways of navigating all these things with grace…

My fear is that I am not allowed to be all of who I am.  That there is a “Big Brother” judging my journey, and waiting for me to slip up somehow, somewhere.  Living in that fear can only make me small.  But in this lifetime, I have to claim that I want to exist to the fullness of my being, I want to be my all.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.


Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

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