ABCs Of Kink

Marijuana Induced Orgasm

July 23, 2014 by ABCs Of Kink

Post orgasm loveface on... rope and my trustly vibrator helped do the trick this time

Post orgasm loveface on… Some rope and my trusty vibrator helped do the trick this time.

Marijuana induced orgasms lately seem all the rage. I’ve come across a bunch of articles on the subject that I’m not going to link to because I find them annoying at best and really annoying and maybe even offensive at worst…

Here’s the thing though: smoking or eating marijuana does actually help me have orgasms and great sex. I know this because I’ve tried. I have a VERY hard time reaching orgasm during sex, and pot helps out a lot. This is not a new idea by any stretch of the imagination.

Now there’s a lubricant called Foria being advertised for women which has THC as an active component. It is currently only available with a prescription for medical marijuana in the state of California, so most of you reading this will not be able to try it out yet. The marketing for this product I find insanely generalized, too soft focused, and aimed at a pretty narrow and seemingly very white audience. Eh? Do we really need to be that neutral/virginal/innocent in talking about sex to sell a product that could help millions of women enjoy it in the first place?

It is important to have products that attend to women’s sexual needs – currently the FDA only approves such medicine for men. Do I think Cannabis is one very good answer to the pervasive and almost epidemic rate of women reporting sexual dysfunction? Absolutely. But why do we have to suffer through ads for a product like this which probably has very therapeutic and even empowering outcome for its users? Ads that are overt, gratuitous, badly articulated and romanticized ideas of what female pleasure is actually like?

I prefer videos such as the “Hysterical Women” series, where women are being given orgasms from under a table while reading. Those orgasms are real, not this incendiary fake ooh and ahh with waves crashing in the background crap. So please “good idea possible natural healers of my clitoral and vaginal functioning”, tone down the virginal sex shit, and let women find their pleasure from your product in fierce, loving, articulate, and dynamic ways.

Sex is awesome. Orgasms rock. We do not, in this year 2014, need to beat around the bush and blush while we claim our bodies for pleasure.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor: Do you have a story or perspective to share about kink or would you like to promote a kinky event? Email Karin directly at: Karin @ ABCsOfKink . com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site. Don’t know what to write about? Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently. Happy writing, and thanks!

Filed Under: Perspectives on Kink Blog Tagged With: cannabis and sex, marijuana orgasms, pot lubricant, women's viagra

Shrubs

July 21, 2014 by ABCs Of Kink

Photo by Becca A. Lewis

I am lying here next to my cat, collared while my partner, my M, my Sir cooks dinner for us. I’ll take a break momentarily to make us tea. It’s been a rough road to this moment, and one I’m grateful for taking.

I read an article once where an old woman who’d been with her partner for 60+ years said, when asked how her relationship had lasted so long, “in my generation you were taught that when something was broken, it was your job to figure out how to fix it”.

I am being poured a glass of shrub to drink in my favorite scotch glass. We made three together yesterday. If I’m lucky it will be the chocolate/fresh fennel one. That one came out beautifully. Sometimes I think about what I want my future with this partner to be and I think of making fresh shrubs and delicious food and hosting parties for friends who feed us with their thoughts and loving. I want to make home somewhere, I want to raise children like I have raised ideas over the years. I want to be a success, grow beautiful plants, and move to Paris. For now figuring out how to buy a van to go on a nine month national tour and packing up my home seems like enough… I wonder where we’ll end up.

Shrubs are fresh fruit muddled with sugar, strained, and added to vinegar. You can dilute them, use them as mixers, drink them straight… I think the trick is to add vinegar to taste rather than the recipe’s specification. Without a bite what’s the point, but with too much you lose the beauty of the mixture, the movement of the animal, the drink’s life force. We’ve been fighting a lot lately. Fearful crying, feeling badly around one another. Carrying the heaviness of dark clouds without relief for too long.

I was in a movie where I played a chainsaw-toting demon maiden from Hell. There were four of us, I was the rough/bisexual/dykey one and I got to kiss a girl in the end. My partner showed up on the last day of shoot to perform in the final scene’s frathouse party rock band. It was beautiful to be shooting my kiss over and over while he was in the next room. It felt homey and I was free.

Sex has been drying up lately, but we decided that even though it is the scariest thing in the world to extend yourself to a loved one when times are rough, it’s important to show one another that you love each other… This morning orgasms were the only gift we could give to one another, to ourselves, and to the relationship. They were needed. Neither of us could figure out how to start. But we did…

It is impossible not to breathe while you masturbate, and if you’re doing it next to a loved one, impossible not to relax and let go just a little. The decision to share our orgasms with one another (even orgasms we were not feeling inspired to have) led to sex that was beautiful. It led to a deepening of touch, a desire to connect, and connection itself.

There is still work to do, but we’ve found ourselves back on the same team, loving one another tenderly and unguardedly again. I will remember this day when next the clouds begin to rain.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Filed Under: Brain on Download Blog Tagged With: buying a van, chocolate fennel shrub, mutual masturbation, sex when you don't want to but should, sharing your orgasm, vision of the future

S is for SELF CARE

July 18, 2014 by ABCs Of Kink

Photo by Davis Aquilina

This week’s blog is going to be short and will not follow the format I usually employ. It’s a busy week for me, and this is the compromise I’ve come to (that in an of itself is a great self care practice). While most of what’s below can be used anytime and anywhere by anybody needing self care, the intent is to think about this subject in the context of maintaining healthy kink/BDSM/sexuality realities. Enjoy!

Be realistic about the amount of emotional, physical, and mental energy you have to give to others and allow yourself to limit your spending as you see reasonable when those reserves are low (communicating your needs clearly is key if you’re negotiating the practicalities of these realities with others)
Clearly ask for what you want and need from the people who matter to you
Take time for you! Sleep in your own bed or space if you’ve got it, keep a journal, make a date with yourself… there are a million ways to do so
Learn to feel safe being vulnerable around those you trust
Learn to trust others and learn to trust your gut. These things are not mutually exclusive
Develop good communication skills
First ground yourself so that you may share that grounded you with others when you want to
Therapy can be a wonderful gift to give yourself
Don’t beat yourself up for being wrong or making mistakes, learn from them and live more deeply and intentionally knowing that you’ve failed, you’ve survived, and you’ve grown because of it
Touch your skin in soothing and loving ways
Masturbate/have orgasms when you want them. Masturbation is great at relieving stress and grounding you in yourself
Take a time out to remind yourself that you are sexy, smart, lovable, and worthy of lightness, fun, good energy, and happiness
Put something in your mouth that makes you melt. Enjoy it through the final shadow of its lingering taste
Exercise! Move your body! Dance! Walk! Run! Stretch!!! Your body matters to your mental and emotional reality. Lethargy can lead to depression quickly
Talk with trusted friends and family members about things that are hard for you to reach out about. Being a human being means you experience similar conflicts and emotions as other human beings. You can talk about your problems with others – even the kinky/sexual ones – you have permission. Everyone’s experiences may differ, but we are united in our need for reassurance and help from our fellow community members
Meditate
Find and face your fears honorably. They developed because you needed them at some point, if they do not serve you and your desires now, figure out how to let them go or at least be present with them as they arise
Remember why you do the things you do, why you are committed to the things you are committed to
Do research on stuff that turns you on and advocate for the healthy presence of those things in your relationships and find ways to give those things to yourself
Think about whether or not you carry shame or judgement with you into your sexual, kink, or other relations and try to figure out where that those things came from. Can you leave that shame and judgement behind and find a path to a more accepting and loving you?
Play. Have fun. Try something new. Make a mess. Life isn’t perfect, so let yourself go when you need to
Sub/Dom/Top/Switch/Bottom/Pet/Teacher/Slut/Boi/Whatever things you think typify you: You are not a box, and you were not born with a box shaped body. Remember that you define your labels, your labels do not define you. This entire self care list applies to everyone regardless of which roles they do or do not embrace as their own
Take responsibility for yourself, doing that may open up doors you never knew existed

Do you have self care techniques that work for you? What are they? How did you discover them? Will you share? Please comment below.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Filed Under: ABCs Blog Tagged With: BDSM selfcare, emotional wellbeing and sex, keep kink safe, orgasms are like meditation, selfcare, shame issues