Limited Free Speech: Filters and Shutdowns Pervasively Forecast

As of Tuesday FOSTA and SESTA passed the House and Senate, and Trump’s planning on signing FOSTA into law. I don’t know why more people haven’t been talking about the implications of this. Just now, as a broad example of everyday changes which will affect not a small portion of the country: the entire Craigslist Personals section is completely down because of their new liability for anything that happens as a result of people posting on their forum, something which will become more and more pervasive online: Check it out.

Want to talk about sex freely on the internet? Nope, too risky. What if talking about sex ends up in a situation where someone is trafficked?! The company which runs the platform it got talked about on is responsible for aiding traffickers.

Politicians are calling this “Sex Trafficking protection” but what they really want is an opportunity to prosecute Backpage so they can win talking points about how sex trafficking was done in during 2018 under Trump. It is ineffective rubbish at the price of free speech on the internet. Even the Department of Justice has weighed in saying these bills are unconstitutional, and trafficking survivors and sex trafficking advocates have spoken out against it as well. I wrote two articles a couple weeks ago about these votes and what they meant. Who knows, my own websites might even go down.

When will the people of our country look at the reality of sexual repression and start dealing with the issues it causes head on instead of swallowing more and more politically charged restrictions and lies?

I will tell you one thing: this bill is not stopping sex trafficking. It is, though, making sex work of all types — and even dating and domestic partnerships — less safe. When indoor prostitution is decriminalized sex workers of all varieties are able to work more safely, and domestic violence drops by around 30+% (as does the general population’s number of gonorrhea cases).

Human beings need to be and are going to be sexual. Period.

We should be defining sex work as work and figuring out how to help people who want to do it be safe, have resources easily and openly available for people who wish to exit that work so that they can leave the industry reasonably, and put in place meaningful sex trafficking measures for locating and dismantling those situations without further traumatizing the victims themselves.

This is utter bullshit. To be precise: it is sexist, homophobic, racist, transphobic utter bullshit. Let’s call a spade a spade here — sex workers by and large are not cis heterosexual white men… funny (not): Most politicians are.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

We Are Boiling

Everyone has a story. Those stories are as varied and interesting as our own journeys have been. Many of the questions rattling around in the human brain are similar regardless of where you’re from, how you were raised, or what you do with your time. Even those who we seem distant from in the most painfully obvious ways, they still shit, eat, worry about the people they love, wonder if they’re loveable themselves, and so on…

We do not, however, all have the same histories or circumstances. We do not make meaning the same ways even though we all do make meaning. We are not privy to the same information, the same definitions, the same fears, rewards, catalysts, lessons, or opportunities. And so our languages grow differently, and we express ourselves imperfectly. In moments defined by fleeting things such as emotions, health, stress, chemistry, blood sugar levels the distance between one mother tongue and another can be extraordinary.

Words are meant for more than argument, they will never be clear enough for a forever capture. Remember to see the shape they make as a whole, hovering above each word’s organization on a page. Words have many lives, and like cats they too get into all kinds of situations inside and out of their primary residence.

Fantasy is a thing that happens exactly as we want it to with no adjustments needed nor made. When I sing it is not with perfect pitch. When I dance I am stopping my body from falling, and I am not always graceful. When I tell someone my emotions I am throwing a can of soup at a canvas. Communication is art, and like all art some will understand the artist’s meaning more easily than others, some will recoil in judgement, and others will fumble through clutching onto their own foggy interpretations which have nothing to do with the art, artist, or subject matter of the show itself.

We are brilliant little creatures dripping with sunlight and sludge until our deaths, 5, 10, 20, 40, 60, 80 years down the line. Why is it that we insist to one another, in these short lifetimes, that we understand someone better than they know themselves? Why is it that we ruffle and pitch, wrestle ideas to the ground in order to Dominate a conversation rather than sit humbly and ask after intent?

Our society right now has a problem with accountability. It comes from all directions, and even the accused become victims at times. We are casting out babies and bathwater that hasn’t cooled. We are acting as though a cold shoulder directed toward to an undesirable is the same thing as healing a wound. This is not so. Our society needs to do better.

The art world knows this. Artists and educators have long been held accountable for the feelings they’ve invoked instead of the content of their actions, or the person behind the persona they publicly carry. Criminals, rightfully and wrongfully accused know this, as they are often held to the content of their past actions instead of the human they have become in the process of growth over time. We humans love a scapegoat. When does a person’s advancement after upheaval or freshly internalized education become the new dance, the new song, the new story, the present conversation we’re having now? Does the world believe each meat sack plays only one note over the span of its entire lifetime?

Aren’t stories created to educate? Aren’t caricatures meant to inspire empathy and a new response in one’s meaning making? Aren’t punishments meant to rehabilitate? And if rehabilitated, where lies the land of opportunity? Are we all so tired, so dissatisfied, so unable to self critique that keeping a line firmly drawn between “us” and “them” is the only way we manage to look in a mirror every day, and so ignore our own infirmities?

I understand that it’s easier to cast stones than it is to trust. I know that there are many who do not deserve to be believed. It is true that there are those who should never return to a certain place or be acknowledged by particular people. But for the rest of us, the ones less involved, the ones who’ve heard through the grapevine, the ones who have no stake in the fight other than staying in the light: are we enforcing the correct response when we draw a dark X over the flesh of another and keep it there forever? Are we part of the problem when we do not make room for growth? Are we also part of the problem when we say we seek to remedy the world but are unable or unwilling to discuss the complexities of time and effort, of education and empathy, or movement and action? It is not for the maligned to teach, it is for the community at large to bring a fallen member back into stasis. This cannot be done without complex understanding of reasons why, cause and effect, otherness, and the languages of those perpetrating as well as those harmed most frequently.

That I shun you for all time and expect our community to fall in behind me, is this a blind eye toward the very world I am hoping for when I’ve called you out to begin with? How do we come back together as humans, better dancers, more whole storytellers and singers, after the world has rightfully been blown apart? Isn’t destruction what makes way for the process of creation?

I do not know the answers to these things, but I think it is time to examine them. As we call upon one another to be better, as we exile in search for a space of healing, what then? Are we sacrificing eternally in social death those who make mistakes or speak languages not progressive enough? What degree of responsibility do we as a community have when we take to task another for their harm? What crimes are worthy of community action vs. interpersonal rebalancing and mediation? Are our own internalized fears and malice kept inopportunely a working part of these equations?

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

Terrain of Change

So far this week I feel like I’m winning at being the femmeboy creature I am. I attended a “Drag Brunch” on Sunday. It was fun, and inspired me to spend some time playing with makeup that day. It’s been a while, and I forget I enjoy playing in “painting your face” mediums of expression. Usually when I crack open my make-up kit I’m creating a face for a character, and I don’t think to just play on my own making pretty or interesting things happen on this Creature/Karin-shaped canvas day to day.

This week my chin hairs have been sprouting more fully and my mustache has been darkening. I was a day late taking my shot this past T cycle. It seems as though when I wait longer between shots or take a slightly lower dose than usual my hair sprouts a little more aggressively. Counter intuitive it seems, doesn’t it?

This (less surprisingly) is an inverse of what happens to my clitoris. The higher the dose of Testosterone I take the more my clit grows, gets hard throughout my cycle, seems present on my body throughout the day, and my average daily desire for sexual intercourse seems to go up.

Interestingly, on slightly lower doses of T my desire for BDSM or creative sensual connection seems more present than specifically sexual desire (as in intercourse).

I wonder if I’m the only one like this, if I’m an outlier for noticing things to this level of specificity, or if because I’m not bleeding anymore (due to taking Testosterone injections) that these reactions are actually layered over a monthly hormonal cycle I’ve lost track of? Other T takers: have you noticed similar or different effects?

Tiny locks for tiny chastity cages… One of my favorite sadistic activities is a combination of CBT and orgasm control.

I wish I was a part of a medical study. I’d like to be contributing to the better understanding of what taking Testosterone shots does to AFAB bodies.

Regardless, enjoy the photos! I have a lot of intrigues running through my mind these days. I need more people with whom I can play and express all the different parts of me that run through my imagination. There is a fear that holds me back from putting myself more fully out there on dating sites and such — the fear that I’m too masculine for those who like femmes, and too feminine for those who like masculinity, too trans for people who don’t understand non-binary gender, or not trans enough for those who have an idea of what trans looks like… Silly, I know, because at the end of the day my entire journey is about feeling more like me so that I can ultimately feel more comfortable around others in general. Desire is a rock and a hard place sandwiched between the judges in my head. At least Bound in Boston is happening this weekend, so I’ll get to blow off some steam while throwing rope with friendly strangers!

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

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