PSA: from the Desk of a Professional Dominant

People are stressed out and experiencing a lot of fear and uncertainty right now. These days communications are going haywire more easily than usual—even for simple things it seems. People are behaving in erratic ways and doing things that don’t make much rational nor pragmatic sense… Many people’s coping mechanisms inform them to “look out for number one” (perhaps a bit too intensely) first, rather than considering the needs of community, neighbors, clients, employees, etc.

The worst parts of who we are lives in the mentality of a starvation economy.

If we’re going to make it through this pandemic with lesser stress rather than levels that go through the roof; that is, if we don’t want to make things worse for ourselves and everyone around us—we need to invest in something other than fear. Everyone is put out by the changes in our present situation, but everyone is not effected to the same degree. If you have resources, savings, a job that will pay you to work remotely or hasn’t asked you to take time off, consider your privilege and relative stability in this crisis.

We need to invest in one another literally and figuratively. Start by slowing down, by listening to the people around you, by hearing people when they speak, and by asking questions. Rather than making assumptions, being reactionary, throwing knee-jerk responses at one another, or escalating situations, we can opt to create space, deciding to keep distance from those edges—strategy toward a better end for all. In order to do so, we must be aware of whether our response to conflict intentionally or unintentionally pulls rank on others.

If power plays are an effect of the decisions we make (especially in these moments of stress and crisis), then we need to be more intentional than we’ve ever been before with the decisions we make, our processes for decision making, and how we communicate. Power plays in this climate can easily become exponentially debilitating and problematic to those with less room for survival. When dealing with people who are already afraid, already at a loss in one way or another, or those who are sitting in the unpalatable space of real concerns for their future and present selves’ functionality, it’s of utmost importance to consider the effects of the decisions we make. My Mother always taught me to ask myself, “if I do this, what will happen?”. That lesson, applied by all, will literally save lives in today’s crisis climate (not to mention untold oceans of angst).

We are not going to make it out of this mess completely unscathed, so the best we can be is good to one another and share the burden.

To my mind, best practices include checking in, asking questions instead of jumping to conclusions or making blanket decisions that effect others without proper consultation or conversation. This moment is one we can use to strengthen our muscles of compassion, and to figure out what’s going on underneath the panic of a situation. If we know what emotions and fears are driving us as individuals, we are much better armed to work problems out—creatively even. In fact, I’d say creativity is one of humanity’s best assets right now. At the very least, when we make decisions or respond to one another, we should be considerate and thoughtful about the impact our decisions and responses have on others.

I truly believe that by helping one another in the ways we are thoughtfully able to, we are better situated to help ourselves more deeply and meaningfully in the long run. I’d love it if we could get through this considerable moment of global strife with kindness and compassion as our first thought in any quandary. If we are able to, we’ll prove stronger as an entire human society when it passes.

Much love to y’all. Stay healthy, and please reach out if you’re afraid or in need of help. There are resources out there, and there are people who excel at funneling them to those in need. We’ll get done what has to be done, and we’ll complete it the only way we actually can: together.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

My writing takes time, research, and consideration: it is my art.
Please help me continue by joining my Patreon campaign, Donating, or booking a professional or educational Session with me. Thank you!

Potential: A Love Letter

Creature KPW performing Sirius Black shifting into canine form… Photo by Mélissa Kooyomjian Kemp (Insta: @CapturedExposure).

Potential is a tricky subject. What a warm, beautifully arousing ideal: to have potency within, latent, waiting to pounce, a promise of ripening! Yet also what a sad and scary obligation: to fail, to fall, to misuse or waste, to lose, never to launch, forever to be stuck behind a glass of now, never rolling in the plushness of what could be…

Potential is a romance that sours a day after delivery as often as it blossoms beautifully for a week or more. It is sex for pleasure, potential being ripe and waiting for perfect conditions to pounce—conditions that’ll spin your head from news of the growing thing inside (even though you didn’t do anything differently this time)… and there are a million miscarried potentials bled out each month, not recognized nor given a first thought, much less a second. Unless it’s fed, one day potential withers on the vine, unviable, unwanted, out of mind.

What potentials course through your veins or whisper in your ear at night? Do they communicate secretly in the form of slumbered visions, asking for materialization and corporeal form in the sunlight? What potencies have you ignored for comfort or ease, for lack of support, misunderstanding, or because a dark void of deeper knowledge has a hold on your light? Have you let your potency evaporate away, dispersed? Do you disbelieve in your own worth? Does your You inside actively speak up about “what could be” if you’d just meditate on those hidden dreams buried in your chest, if you’d just reach out for that singular something, warm, oddly fitting inside?

Potential is a shapeshifter. Once it was small and uninitiated, a hungry little creature mewing at doors and searching for a friendly face. In time, one or two faces found, the belly grew with nourishment and possibility. Creature becomes something more, a growner thing, an animal with gravity.

One day Growner Thing goes about its day, and stumbles on the root of a new question. This question demands to be heard and considered tenaciously. The question sprouts, unfolding into a beautiful-terrible bit of flora, intoxicating in its splendor, demanding to be known! Known, though not as an other—but suckled, chewed on, eaten, masticated, and moleculed in the belly, whisked away to the bloodstream, ending up coloring the brain of Growner Creature. Question persists as it’s able. One day Growner Creature bites…

What unfolds is soft and terrible. The shifting of shape is a private delight, a secret ritual performed alone at night. The changing is a changeling merging with the what-once-was Grower Creature, and Growner Creature becomes Resplendant, a new thing. There are aches and pains from growth, as we all know. There are months of fog. There are minutes of euphoria. There are masses of other Resplendants, sliding down the walls and dropping from ceilings all around, swinging from chandeliers, and tripping you up in the halls of this hallowed changing space. Everything is too small and too incomprehensibly open wide, alive, to know what any moment asks (except the ones you inexplicably do understand). The shifting is a ritual of knowledge, of changing perspective, of holding onto where you’ve been while mixing in new experiences containing savory morsels of what else there is to take in.

Changing is a time to hold on, not do the math. It’s time to believe and question and understand the struggle of overwhelm; the fear that you truly know nothing at all in the end. Building blocks vs. the scales of cancelling-out look similar under a microscope, but from afar, a more wholistic picture reveals universes of articulation, unforetold branches on the path you’re on: new endings.

The shifting is a most incredible gift, and it’s the loneliest place you’ll ever live. Seemingly hyper-visible to the masses, yet frequently critiqued as “unknown”. Mobs are hungry for archetype and marketable images already well defined, and you’ll nail one type or another, as you quest to “pass”… or you won’t. At some point you might stop trying, reflecting back on the seed inside. That seed encouraged you to try on this magical self in the first place. You’ll have no idea what you’re supposed to end up looking like (unless you do), and every now and then (or frequently) you’ll feel dissatisfied.

Maybe you’ll try again, or you’ll head back from whence you came, leaving that particular impulse/potential behind: that old dream. Maybe you’ll return to shifting in the moonlight, celebrating your multi-faced facets quietly, secretly again. Maybe you’ll find a form that fits and never shift henceforth! Maybe you’ll realize the shifting is where you live and study this transformational dance inside and out, shifting in perpetuity before your life wears out… Regardless of your path, my worthy humanimal friends, there is potency deep inside—always waiting within.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

My writing takes time, research, and consideration: it is my art.
Please help me continue by joining my Patreon campaign, Donating, or booking a professional or educational Session with me. Thank you!

What Does it Mean to Serve?

Nothing beats service that is offered with love and joy

One of the tools I utilize while engaging in submission training is homework. There are many reasons to assign work when my sub is away. It may be in demand of a regular self care regimen, it might be in order to keep a trainee accountable to our agreements, sometimes it’s to practice service tasks in order to serve me better on the days we meet, sometimes it’s to learn something more about the person, or offer them time to articulate something they’re struggling with, sometimes it’s to research a subject useful for personal life or training goals… there are as many reasons to assign homework as the number of assignments I can make. Recently I asked a sub of mine to write me an essay about what the meaning of service is. I’m sharing their thoughts here today.

Whether training or serving (or being in any type of relationship), the bonding process unfolds over time. There are steps in any relationship which lead to closeness, expectations, and rituals that grow over time. At the end of the day, what roles we play in our relationships become most rewarding when we adopt these roles as our own. Sometimes the work and games we play with one another feel silly or useless, or as though they could be rushed through without deeper thought. One aspect of D/s relationships I like (at least the style of D/s I practice) is that consideration of these steps is part of a continual learning and deepening process. These steps are natural check-in points too, in order to keep modifying and updating where the path of each relationship goes. Within the wide world of BDSM, I think examining what we practice is part of the fun, and part of how we lower ourselves even more deeply into the joys and triumphs of our game.

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To Serve: An Essay
by little eee

To serve, according to the dictionary, means “To perform duties or services for (another person or an organization)”. But what does it mean to serve another person? In our D/s relationship we explore this concept. As the person on the right side of the slash, i hold an obligation to serve You, and to direct my efforts to make Your life easier. Through those efforts, i grow myself, and this growth is felt on both sides of the slash. Through my service to You, i also find myself serving others, as well as serving with others.

Serving You means more than just bringing You a cup of coffee or scrubbing down a counter. I must internalize the protocol for how the tasks expected of me are to be performed, and execute these tasks precisely. To be present is important; to be the servant of Creature Sir is a sublime privilege, and I am to be an expression of the joy of that privilege. The spaces You occupy are spaces of peace, growth, healing, and pleasure, and it is important for me to be an embodiment of and extension of these energies. As Your property, i should strive to be the best of objects for you to enjoy and benefit from.

In order to achieve this ideal, i have much growth to do. The homework and daily tasks You assign me are designed to foster this growth, and to perform them is just as much a part of serving You as vacuuming Your house is. You have a design for me, and part of my duty to serve is to let go and trust in Your design. It is not always an easy thing, to turn control of one’s life to another, even the private and most personal aspects. For myself, personally, building a lifestyle where time is budgeted daily for self improvement has been a challenge. But challenges are meant to be overcome, and I must strive to always do the daily requirements of my service.

In fulfilling these tasks, thereby growing myself, i am better able to fulfill my role as servant. i feel better, both physically and emotionally. It becomes easier to perform tasks, both for You and for myself. Energetically, i am better able to put forth my best self, and fill the spaces around me with warmth and joy. Through serving, i grow myself, and when i grow myself, i provide You with a better servant. In this way a symbiotic circle is maintained.

On occasion i am called to serve You in larger settings. At these times, i am required to serve other individuals, and to work with other servants. When these occasions arise, i am both an extension and a reflection of You. my actions reflect the quality of Your training, and I must put my best foot forward to see to the needs of the other Dominants in the space. To work well with the other servants is an obligation as well; to find and obey my role, and to serve it to the point of excellence.

To serve is to offer; to give with an open hand and a heart full of joy. To serve is to obey, and to fulfill whatever is asked of me. To serve is to be diligent, and to complete and work on assignments daily. To serve is to grow, and watch the joy on the faces of the served grow as well. To serve is to love: to love myself, the position i fulfill, the space I occupy, and the person i serve; the wonderful Sir who guides me to new heights.

To service.

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I take pleasure offering others an opportunity to serve me, but this is also a thing I’ve struggled with in the past. It’s a common struggle with people who Dominate. Feeling uncomfortable being served is tied to my experience being socialized as a female person in society. I’ve been taught to serve others since a young age in multitudes of ways, both overtly and covertly. Since youth I’ve been taught to clean, cook, nurture, and care for the people in my life both through observation of the people close to me, and by clearly understanding the archetypical roles and expectations surrounding my perceived place in society. I’ve inherited the struggle to recognize what value people get from being around me (which is essentially a struggle to understand my own value as a person—that both the patriarchy and capitalism perpetuate in order to maintain control of the population). It can be hard to accept others doing tasks I truly appreciate having done. It’s important to let people help me though, deeply so, in order to experience balance, and in order to grow. I desire mastering all sides of these communal roles. With reverence and respect I approach D/s relations. Service is a significant part of what I love in relationships, and one way I’ve learned to accept love from others, who I also help.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

My writing takes time, research, and consideration: it is my art.
Please help me continue by joining my Patreon campaign, Donating, or booking a professional or educational Session with me. Thank you!

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