E is for E-STIM

Growing up, my father worked as an electrician/electrical engineer, and later on in my own life I became a lighting tech for theaters and special event companies.  I’ve always felt a kinship with electricity, both in the sense that there is an “electrical” connection between certain people, and in the manipulation of it physically.  Today, E is for E-Stim which stands for “electrical stimulation”.

To start out, here are the top two things you MUST remember when thinking about playing with electricity:

  1. Safety!
  2. No, really, SAFETY, so do your research or die – maybe literally.
"The Princess Bride"

“…So I want you to be totally honest with me on the way the machine makes you feel.  This being our first try, I’ll use the lowest setting.”

Now that we’ve got those two rules down, there are a great many ways you can play with electrical stimulation and have a really fun time.  This is especially true these days because there are plethora of delightful, intelligent, kinky, amazingly perverted toymakers and inventors out there who have created toys specifically with electrical play safety in mind.   I recommend starting out on your journey by trying those products on for size and learning as much as you can about how the beast works before getting too creative.

What are some of these safer toys and devices you speak of?  Since we’ve established that electricity will kill you as soon as look at you, and to MAKE SURE WHAT YOU ARE USING IS MEANT FOR USE ON A LIVING BODY AND BEING USED SAFELY, lets run over some toys that are meant to be used on people:

What else?  There are forums like www.smartstim.com, along with groups and resources on Fetlife and other kink communities that are created to help people understand how e-stim works and what is safe, unsafe and possible in electrical play.  I recommend checking out group forums like these at the very least for research information and general advice, and at best for great ideas, conversations, and to clear up misconceptions you might have about how people do what they seem to be doing.  Having an account on Fetlife or Kink Academy or some other social or educational website can help you move from cautious novice, to well practicing intermediate, leading of course to highly prized kink wizard!

My thigh the day after Violet Wand Torture :)

My thigh the day after Violet Wand Torture

My Experiences: Have been very slim as of yet, though what I’ve felt I’ve liked and hated in the best combination possible.  Electricity is one of the only things that’s “broken” me (grinning as I say it), but more on that particular scene in my interrogation entry…  Specifically, when it comes to electricity I’ve played with the Violet Wand, so I can speak to that one quite well.  It has a lot of different attachments, some beautiful, some more intense than others, some feel like massage, some more bizarre.  What I like most is the attachment you can stick in your belt to electrify your hand which basically makes YOU the electrical toy, and your touch torturous.  I will admit one of the things I REALLY like about that is that the sadistic partner you have is also feeling what you’re feeling – serves them right.

Through extensive use of the Violet Wand I have gotten a light “sunburn” over the more sensitive area that was repeatedly shocked (inner thighs), but that cleared up completely within a day or so.  All in all really fun stuff, that Violet Wand.

Why E-Stim, what’s going on there?  Electrical stimulation works in two different ways depending on the type of tool you’re using: either by a static shock, or by deeper stimulation of the muscles.  Toys like the Violet Wand operate more superficially building up and creating a static shock on top of the skin.  Toys like TENS units and Stun Guns directly target deeper muscles by overloading the electrical current that naturally occur in the muscles thereby seizing the muscle up and temporarily paralyzing it by making it contract.

Thoughts to Think About:  There are general guidelines to keep in mind when playing with any type of electricity, and more specific things to think about depending on the type of e-stim toy you’re using.  ALWAYS READ THE WARNINGS AND PROPER USE DOCUMENTS THAT COME WITH YOUR EQUIPMENT.  Know what kind of questions to bring up in negotiation with your partner:  does your partner have epilepsy or a pacemaker?  Does your partner have any heart issues, bad circulation, or a history of blood clotting?  This is a non-exhaustive list, so know specifically what your equipment warns about on top of these concerns.

Communicate Communicate Communicate…  Need I say more?  Try your toys out on yourself first so you know what type of sensation you’re doling out.  Check in with your partner about what the sensations are like for them as you play – is this too much, can you take more (?)…  Decompress about what happened in a scene afterward, was it good, bad, ugly, pleasurable, scary, fun.  If you want to do it again figure out what you’d like to try next time and what you should stay away from repeating.  Don’t break the toys – your machines or your human ones!

Have fun and remember that no matter how consensually evil you might be being to one another, you’re on the same team and in this together.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Introducing: Kristen Stubbs, Ph.D. and The Toymaker Project

Ok, first off I just have to say that getting to know Kristen Stubbs is a pretty awesome thing.  She’s a Ph.D. in Robotics, writes about her exploits in technology/sexuality, is a toy maker, runs a local-to-Boston toymaker’s meet-up group, and is all around just pretty rad.  And, not going to lie, I LOVE the fact that she’s not a cis-gender male rocking all of these things in the world (much love to those wonderful creatures as well, but variety is really nice).  Her POV on a lot of what she writes encompasses experiences I’ve also has as a Sex Geek of the non-male persuasion.  To her, to more women in the Sex Geekplace, and to keeping adult delight alive!

Ponygasm is a comic by Kaylie McDougal, that Kristen Stubbs loves

Ponygasm is a comic by Kaylie McDougal, that Kristen Stubbs loves

This Wednesday I am introducing Kristen by sending you all along to her blogspot: The Toymaker Project.  Like this blog she jumps from idea to idea as she sees fit, and her voice is a refreshing one to read.  Below I’ve posted (with her permission, some updates, and a spanking new intro), her blog post from June of this year: In Defense of Ponygasm.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

###

In Defense Of PonyGasm

Hi! I’m Kristen, a roboticist and maker who’s also a sex-positive activist and entrepreneur, and I’m thrilled to have a piece of my writing featured on ABCsOfKink. Below you’ll find the story of how I discovered PonyGasm, an erotic comic which began as a crowdfunding project mocked on Tumblr and then taken down by IndieGoGo. Thanks to Karin for giving me this opportunity for promoting sex-positivity and having a sense of humor about sex. 🙂

I’m happy to report that the comic’s author, Kaylie McDougal, told me that after all of the initial PonyGasm-bashing she was thinking of giving up writing erotic comics — but after seeing this review she plans to stick with it! I’m definitely looking forward to her next piece.

TLDR:
Downloading a project that supposedly sucked: $5.
Fisting1 yourself for the first time: Priceless.

Since I’m launching my own sex/kink-positive crowdfunding site Passionate Produce, I’ve been doing research on other crowdfunding sites and trying to understand what works and what doesn’t.  I thought a Google search on “kickstarter sucks” would be one way to gauge what people don’t like about Kickstarter, which led me to yourkickstartersucks.tumblr.com.

I’ll agree that a lot of the projects they feature do pretty much suck — they’re poorly planned, or they’re poorly described, or they appear to be scams. That said, a listing for a project called PonyGasm caught my attention.

Ponygasm: An Erotic Comic by Kaylie McDougal

From the artist: “PonyGasm is a trippy, tongue-in-cheek, sex-positive, lady-friendly erotic comic that’s based on a weird dream i had involving giant, anthropomorphic toy pony lovin’ in a public restroom. strange i know, but trust me, it’s good porn!”

Reactions from tumblr readers were mixed (some finding it hilarious, some hoping she would be reported for violating IndieGoGo’s Terms of Service.)

I couldn’t look at the original IndieGoGo page because the link was broken (unsurprisingly, it had been taken down for a Terms of Service violation). I was able to find artist Kaylie McDougal’s deviantArt page and was excited to see the high quality of the art on the sample comic pages she posted. That convinced me to go ahead and buy the story.

The resulting experience? Suffice it to say that while reading PonyGasm, I inserted all five fingers of one hand inside my vagina for the first time. If that’s not a glowing review, I don’t know what is.

Why PonyGasm Is Hot

  • The comic is unabashedly sex-positive. The protagonist has a fun, consensual encounter with a giant vinyl toy pony.
  • The protagonist’s body is realistic. She’s not just a stick with boobs. She has broad hips and fat on her body in the same ways that actual people do.
  • It’s funny! (In case you missed the “giant vinyl toy pony” part.) This comic has a sense of humor, and the artist doesn’t take sex too seriously.
  • There is well-drawn, hot sex.2

PonyGasm reminds me of Phil Foglio’s XXXenophile, which is my all-time favorite erotic comic/graphic novel. Like in XXXenophile, we have a story of happy individuals having fun together, which is just awesome.

How did PonyGasm end up on yourkickstartersucks?

While I think it’s a kind of sad that someone decided to pick on PonyGasm, I’m not surprised.   I can’t comment on how well the original PonyGasm fundraising campaign was designed because the page was taken down–but my guess is that it wasn’t up on yourkickstartersucks because of poor project design.  PonyGasm pushes against a number of cultural norms:

  • PonyGasm is funny, and it doesn’t take sex (or itself) too seriously.
  • PonyGasm is explicitly “lady-friendly,” which is not how I would describe a lot of mainstream porn.
  • PonyGasm involves a horse.  (For those of us who believe good experiences start with enthusiastic consent from everyone involved, a cartoon toy pony who can clearly articulate his preferences is not particularly problematic.)

If you tell me, “I’m not really into absurdist erotic comics” or even “Vinyl toy pony sex squicks me out,” I respect that.  Everyone has different tastes when it comes to pleasure.3

I’d say the folks who dismissed this project out-of-hand missed out on a really fun piece of erotica. IndieGoGo certainly missed out.  PonyGasm reminds me of why it’s so important for my own crowdfunding startup, Passionate Produce, to succeed.  If Ms. McDougal would ever like to crowdfund a new erotic comic, I’d be honored to feature her work on Passionate Produce.

In the meantime, go buy your own copy of PonyGasm! I can’t make any guarantees about how many fingers you will be able to insert into your own orifice(s) as a result of reading this comic–but if you enjoy PonyGasm even half as much as I did, you’re in for a treat.

Update, 6/26/13 10:34pm: Broken links to the etsy store fixed. My bad!

End Notes

  1. Wikipedia has a pretty decent description if you’re not familiar with the term “fisting.”  There’s actually some debate as to how far inside the fingers/hand have to be inserted in order for something to “count” as fisting, which I don’t particularly care to go into here.
  2. In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that almost anything even vaguely related to sex turns me on.  (I have a few definite turn-offs, and then there are some things that are “meh.”)  Some of the things that have aroused me include:
    • Watching animals mate in nature documentaries.
    • Riding on bumpy roads during family vacations (which is awkward).
    • Watching BDSM porn before I knew BDSM could be consensual (which freaked me out, and turned me on, and then freaked me out because I was getting turned on).
    • Low-quality pornography (because in the end, all my brain cares about is OMG THERE ARE PEOPLE FUCKING).

    Sometimes this is frustrating or confusing — but then there are days like this one where it means I get to discover something Really Cool. 

  3. Within BDSM online communities, this is sometimes phrased as YKINMK, “Your Kink Is Not My Kink”. 

 ###

If you enjoyed this review, go check out more of Kristen’s true sex stories and other endeavors at The Toymaker Project. You can also find her and her startup, PassionateProduce.com, on Twitter as @vortacist and @PassionProduce, respectively. If you’re in the greater Boston area, She leads a meetup group for sex/kink-positive makers called teasecraft, and would love to see you there.  Thanks for reading!

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Slut Season Commences!

In past performances I've been cast as drag/gender switching Tango dancer in a delicious threesome number (this year we have a flamenco solo by dancers who will bring you to your knees). Photo by Hans Wendland

In past performances I’ve been cast as drag/gender switching Tango dancer in a delicious threesome number (this year we have a flamenco solo by dancers who will bring you to your knees). Photo by Hans Wendland

I live in the Boston area, where we have a wonderful tradition of putting up a show called “The Slutcracker” every year.  I’ve been lucky enough to be with the production since the beginning, six years running, and it’s quite an amazing show.  If you’ve seen it you know this already; if you haven’t and you’re anywhere near the Boston area during the month of December you should check it out!

Back before there was a Slutcracker, Vanessa White aka “Sugar Dish (the founder of Babes in Boinkland), called together all of the underground burlesque, drag, and dance performers she knew with this crazy idea to create a scene by scene burlesque retelling of The Nutcracker.  Many of us hopped on board having no idea that what we were throwing ourselves into would become one of the staples of queer, kinky, sex-positive, adult-fun holiday performances in this city.

One of my favorite past roles was "the Wet Spot Fairy" for the "Flowers" number. Photo by Hans Wendland

One of my favorite past roles was “the Wet Spot Fairy” for the “Flowers” number. Photo by Hans Wendland

We perform at the old vaudeville hall turned movie house, the Somerville Theater each year and sell out most of our 16-20 performances in that 900 seat proscenium!  I can tell you that as a performer it is one of the things I look forward to the most every year, and as an audience member the energy in the house is palpable and extraordinary.

What I love about this show most is the mirror between the story on stage and the reality of cast life.  The story is a coming out/coming of age/learning to embrace the self and the sexual journey tale.  Our reticent and nervous protagonist is embraced by a sex positive community who shows her just how varied and wonderful the world of sex can be; they invite her to figure out what works for her…  Similarly the cast of performers over the years has become a real family.  We are all different in our talents, focuses, and desires as artists, but the love and support onstage, backstage, and in our lives together beyond the show is palpable and real.  The Slutcracker is much more than a show to those who work to make it happen every year, it is an opportunity to be amongst smart, funny, beautiful, sexy, political, strong, important artists who believe in discovery and who have worked with each other (on stage and off) to bring that very evolution into our lives as well as our acts.  The one comment I hear most from audience members who are seeing the show for the first time is, “it looks like you are all having a blast onstage”.  We most definitely are.

And my favorite role to date is playing "Aunt Drosselmeyer", the freak who starts it all... Photo by Sarah Patterson

And my favorite role to date is playing “Aunt Drosselmeyer”, the freak who starts it all rolling…  Photo by Sarah Patterson

This year I am lucky enough to return to lead role “Aunt Drosselmeyer” in cast B.  There are a few shows I’m switching out with my counterpart performer, so check out my performance calendar before getting your tickets, or look at the list below to make sure you get there on one of my performance nights:

  • Friday 12/6
  • Saturday 12/7
  • Sunday 12/8
  • Saturday 12/14
  • Monday 12/16
  • Thursday 12/19
  • Friday 12/20
  • Sunday 12/22 (8pm show only)
  • Monday 12/31 (NYE!)

If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, I suggest DOING SO NOW! We are already selling out some nights.  I hope to find your shiny faces in the audience, and let me know when you’re coming so I can say hi afterwards.

To Breath and Being
~ Karin

PS.  If you have a Fetlife account, check this out and get on it!

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Age Verification: www.ABCsOfKink.com addresses adult sensual and sexual information, including imagery associated with a wide variety of BDSM topics and themes. This website is available to readers who are 18+ (and/or of legal adult age within their districts). If you are 18+, please select the "Entry" button below. If you are not yet of adult age as defined by your country and state or province, please click the "Exit" link below. If you're under the age of consent, we recommend heading over to www.scarleteen.com — an awesome website, which is more appropriate to minors looking for information on these subjects. Thank you!