ABCs Of Kink

H is for HOODS

January 3, 2014 by ABCs Of Kink

Do not underestimate the power of a hood. For unlimited reasons there is a psychological, kinesthetic, and emotional power this device holds that I find quite moving. A hood is nothing more than a type of mask (says the performance artist), and masks hold within them the power to transform an individual. I think there is far more to the experience of wearing one than simple cut and dry sensory deprivation, which is often the reason pointed to when defining what they are for. Let’s explore this in more depth, shall we…

The intimidation factor: One of the things I like/loathe most about hoods is how much fear they have always struck into my heart. Perhaps it is because I am a connection whore and control freak and I enjoy being able to see my partners’ faces during play, or maybe I just associate the hooded kinkster with a hangman’s role or the gimp character in Pulp Fiction… not things I find particularly sexy, perhaps just not my kink (yet). Also I think there’s a certain fear that strikes me when I think of the anonymity that a hood impresses upon the wearer. The reality that the symbol of a hood holds such intimidation and power (for me) is a great reason to use them! I get a thrill from the flip-like sink of the stomach which accompanies a hood being pulled out or brought up in conversation… What do you think of when you see or consider hoods? Does this make you more or less curious about using them?

The Gimp character from Pulp Fiction

Other reasons to slip ’em on: There are a million! Lets see here… Hoods can look amazing and be great fashion accessories, they can be made of materials people fetishize and therefore wish to be clad in (leather, latex, nylon, lace…), they are great tools to employ for breath control and breath play, they can be dehumanizing or take away one’s identity, they are a no-brainer for sensation play, masks can really finish the costume for convincing pet play, or be the perfect detail in your uniform fetish fantasy games, don’t forget that they can psychologically turn people on/off/sideways, and masks can lend a particular character or inanimate fuck-doll reality to your play should you wish. Masks can have various parts of the face exposed for easy access: mouth, eyes, nose, they can cover the head completely, or they can have zippers so you can decide to open up an area or close it off as you see fit… What are your favorite reasons to use a hood during play and what type of hood do you like most?

Keep in mind: One of the things you want to pay attention to very closely when using a hood is how much it cuts off the wearer’s access to their air supply. In general you are putting something over someone’s head which is hopefully fun for the wearer, but it also cuts down the amount of information you have from the wearer about how they are doing. You no longer may be able to look into their eyes and see if they are connected or not, you may not be able to hear or see their breathing as well, and depending on the hood being used you may not hear the safeword as easily if they are trying to say it. Another thing to keep in mind is hearing. When you have a mask over your head at the very least you’ll have a harder time hearing anything being said to you. At the worst every time the mask is touched you’ll hear the sound of the material being played with loudly in your ears and definitely not the words that might be being said to you. If you are engaged in activities that could compromise the hood wearer’s safety, consider having a non-verbal safeword instead, like holding something in the hand that can be dropped as an indication to stop play. It is also a good idea to verbally check in more frequently with a person you are getting less visual/facial information from.

Photo by †Nurse Morphine©†

An experience of my own: The first scene I was ever in was an amazing experience. It lasted about 5 1/2 hours and we went through a bunch of different modes of play. At one point toward the end of the exploration my top brought out a mask and put me in it. I was dreading it (as I mentioned above, my reaction to hoods in general was in full effect), and then something amazing happened: I was completely able to let go in a way I had yet to experience in my kinky explorations.

The hood we were using had zippers that exposed the eyes and mouth so I could either have my mouth and eyes exposed, or they could be zippered shut. I remember being afraid of loosing my sight and intrigued by the idea of sensory deprivation. And when the mask went on all was dark. My hearing was mostly lost and the sound of my top’s voice felt far away. All of a sudden the information I had about what was happening around me was cut down and focused. I felt as though a new universe was formed and my mind was the center of everything. Every sensation had questions associated with it because I could not simply see what was happening, and with each question my mind rushed to grasp an explanation.

There was calm there too. A very intense and particular quiet that accompanied the loss of my head senses. In that darkness and quiet I found peace. Serenity. Throughout the play we had enjoyed up to that moment I had felt a particular barrier between myself and my partner. I felt my job was to accept what was given to me – process the pain, accept challenges, and bear new experiences. And in that headspace I found myself emotionally less engaged, though physically, psychologically and kinesthetically I was completely on. In this new quiet headspace I found the will and desire to reach out and touch my partner, something I had denied myself until that point. And it was a beautiful very sensual part of the evening. It was deeply touching. The hood created a universe where I could reach out beyond the barriers I had set for myself and intuitively find strength and trust my own explorations. This part of the night’s play was quite profound.

Where you can find more information: As always I highly recommend learning more about the specific types of play you’d like to engage in before jumping in. Kink Academy has some great videos on the subject of hoods and also information about them in conjunction with other subjects. Find friends on Fetlife, search for information on the web, take classes by local or traveling kink teachers, or watch demos in clubs or at your local dungeon… As always have fun and make sure you are playing safe.

To Breath and Being
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

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Be an ABCs contributor: Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to share your Kinky New Years Resolutions? Email Karin directly at: Karin@ABCsOfKink.com or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site. Don’t know what to write about? Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently. Happy writing, and thanks!

Filed Under: ABCs Blog Tagged With: breath play, dehumanizing, fetish, fuckdoll, hood, hoods, kink, lace, latex, leather, masks, nylon, rubber, sensory deprivation

Kinky Resolve

January 1, 2014 by ABCs Of Kink

Happy New Years Kinksters!!!

You can do it! Just think it up first…

Today is the first day of a new year. All the possibilities exist that always exist, but today they seem like shiny new coins. So I propose harnessing (ha) that energy and thinking forward about what you would like to do in 2014… what twisted, kinky, loving, brutal, curious, exciting, edgy, sexy, bucket-list type activities are on your radar for the new year?

If you haven’t already, get a ticket to Dark Odyessey’s Winter Fire, Bound in Boston, NELA’s Winter Fleamarket, or any of the other wonderful cons and events in your area, and commit to learning a thing or two about a thing or two that you’d like to learn.

Keep reading your ABCs, and please do send me your thoughts and ideas! I’d love to hear what you have to say on the subject – all the things.

To growing ever more confident and getting to have great adult fun in the process,

To Breath and Being
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Filed Under: Perspectives on Kink Blog Tagged With: Bucket List, Challenge of the Day, kink, New Years Resolutions

The Wildness of Tea

December 30, 2013 by ABCs Of Kink

Photo by Becca A. Lewis

Happy mid-holidays my friends. This past week was a whirlwind for me, and part of that whirlwind was visiting a tea house in Burlington, VT named Dobra. This was my first experience at a tea house, and I must say I pretty much just want to curl up and live in it. The environment was so soothing and beautiful and grounded, the colors, textures, smells, tastes, catches of other people’s conversations… everything about the experience turned me on and calmed me down simultaneously. I was able to be in a state that I find very infrequently in public – a place where I was intimately aware of my body’s reactions to all the things surrounding and entering it. I felt sublimely centered and alive. The experience was completely sensual.

In this space you can sit on a platform, which we did, which is a little raised area with rugs and low tables, and cushions to sit on. You leave your shoes outside the platform before entering. After ordering tea and food the barista serves you your first infusion of tea before disappearing. And then you’re just left there for as long as you like to drink at your own pace as many infusions of tea as you like from each pot you order, and there’s always more hot water for the asking. The list of teas is impressive , pages and pages organized by type: Green, Red, Black, Matcha, Puer, Oolongs, White, Herbal… Each with it’s own musk, temperature, cup size and shape, and feel in the mouth down the back of the throat into the body.

I was surprised specifically by two of the many teas I tried. The first was a Matcha prepared thick. The smell was musky, dank, and rich, almost unsettling in it’s power, and the first taste was like getting slapped in the face with tree and mushroom medicine. I felt like I’d swallowed a mouthful of perfectly blended forest tree and moss paste. It flushed through my chest and into my stomach and instantly grounded me hard to the space I was sitting. I felt perfect and alone and at peace and powerful. I didn’t want to put anything else in my mouth for a while after that tea, I needed it to sit with me, and to feel that aloneness until we were both ready to move on.

The second was a black tea. It was not a Western style black (think Irish Breakfast or Earl Grey) as this type of tea is called Red Tea in China, but a China Black tea. It was not Puer, though I have recently learned my relationship with Puer is a beautiful and tempestuous one… Just off from a Puer, this Puer style black tea was a bit on the light side but had a similar taste and feel as I drank it. With a proper Puer I usually get to a point where my body is done, full; this tea was different when I got to that place though. When I got to the point where I would usually be done drinking a Puer (about 3 infusions+ in), I realized I was not feeling overly full, instead I was feeling extremely turned on. I still had the full feeling of being satisfied and a little on edge as I realized this, but instead of feeling like I needed to stop (lest I encourage a caffeine induced heart attack), I felt as though I had been drinking a powerful aphrodisiac, and I was ready to roll around and pounce on my partner, who was very amused by this reaction and continued to pour me more infusions with a teasing glint in his eye… It was extremely unfortunate that we were in public and that I was leaving Vermont to go to a conference in DC after that last pour, so we made out like bandits in the car before I said goodbye, and I look forward to drinking more with my partner in an environment where pounce I may.

So, kink interested readers, the reason I am sharing these stories with you today is this: I challenge you to take some time to listen to your body this holiday season. Whether you are with family, out eating, running errands, cleaning the house, or at the local tea house in your own neighborhood, take 20 minutes (or more) to check in with all of the sensations you are processing. What feelings is your environment inspiring in you? Take a deep breath and settle in your body: what speed is your energy vibrating at? Touch the things around you slowly and intentionally. Look into the eyes of your partners, friends and family members, and remember to be as present as you can with them in this moment that is only going to happen once – right now. Enjoy yourself. Allow yourself to feel full and stimulated by your surroundings, your conversations, your physical sensations, your thoughts and queries, and share your observations with someone you’re close with. Notice the difference in how your body reacts to that type of cookie, or this perfect salad, the type of tea you choose to drink, or the amount of sugar you add to your coffee. Let your body be alive. This is kink at its most naked and basic. The moment your let all of yourself just BE…

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and consider supporting me, or just click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

###

Be an ABCs contributor: Have a story or perspective to share about kink? Fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site. Don’t know what to write about? Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently. Happy writing, and thanks!

Filed Under: Brain on Download Blog Tagged With: Burlington Vermont, Calm, Centering, Dobra, Experience your body, Sensual, Tea