The People I Meet: Matthew

The blog that I publish on Wednesdays is meant to encompass a plethora of different ideas, perspectives, and experiences in the universe of kink.  Often I ask people to write me with their own experiences and points of view about any aspect of the subject that interests them.  Today I share with you writing that was given to me from the POV of someone coming to terms with their own Dominant side in their exploration of BDSM.  It’s also kind of a sweet love story…

I hope you enjoy the writing as much as I do.  And please, Dear Readers, consider taking a page from this person’s book and share some of your own thoughts and experiences with me.  You can be anonymously credited, have a name or pen name attached, and you are free to write me with whatever thoughts you are having.  Thank you in advance, a very warm thank you to this week’s author, and I hope you enjoy this Wednesday’s “Perspective”.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin


1946-1959 (years of publication for magazine) Source"Bizarre" magazine AuthorJohn Willie, pseudonym for John Alexander Scott Coutts

1946-1959 “Bizarre” magazine
Author John Willie, pseudonym for John Alexander Scott Coutts

I have been struggling with how BDSM fits into my life. It wasn’t something I always knew I enjoyed.  In fact, I feel as though I have been stumbling clumsily through everything I enjoy.  Sometimes I think I’m not good enough to be competent and confident in my abilities.  Of course, my competency and confidence will grow the more I practice and talk about what I do enjoy.  Despite having some really fantastic first experiences, my doubts still keep me asking why do I nurture these feelings, emotions, and interests.

A moment that really stands out for me involves a cage.  Well, it involves 3 cages.  We were in Seattle visiting a friend of hers.  He is also kinky.  His house was complete with a dungeon and 3 cages of varying sizes scattered throughout his house.  The cages all have stories, were hand crafted, and were of varying sizes and uses.  After going out for dinner, we get a tour of the house along with all 3 of his cages.

The first cage was fairly large.  To give you an idea, you could pretty uncomfortably fit about 6 people inside.  I’m given the key and the lock.  After checking to see if the lock worked properly, I have my partner get in and sit down.  She looks pretty comfortable smiling out at me with a cup of coffee in her hands.  So we all sit in this room, talking about this cage while my partner is happily locked inside.  I wasn’t sure why I wanted to see her locked in but it might have been the novelty of seeing someone locked in a cage.  All I knew was that I enjoyed seeing her behind these bars, sitting comfortably, and drinking a cup of coffee.  Then I remembered there were 2 more.  One of them I saw earlier in the living room.  That was probably 1/3 of the size and the thought of my partner squeezing into this one was even more exciting.

So, I unlocked cage 1 and we were taken back to the living room to play with cage 2.  This cage was much shorter, maybe 2 feet high, so she had to get down on her knees to be inside.  It opened via a hatch on top, where the locking mechanism was built in.  This cage might be about 4-5 feet long.  She could sit and lie down in this cage pretty comfortably for a short period of time, if she bent her body in certain ways, before her limbs would get a little stiff.  She kept smiling at me, as she got comfortable.  We stayed at this cage for a little longer than the first. She was comfortable and I wanted to see her squirm around trying to find the most comfortable spot.

After I unlocked the 2nd cage, we were led down into the basement, where the 3rd cage was kept.  This one was my favorite.  It was a similar size to the 2nd cage but there was extra rods that could be inserted and locked vertically and horizontally.  My partner fit in pretty easily and comfortably to begin with.  First, I started placing rods in random areas just to see how they affected the space.  Once I noticed how my partner was placing her body to accommodate them, I started putting more thought and care into the locations I chose for the remaining rods.  Her body curved over and under iron rods, forcing her to hold the position she was in.  She was on her forearms and knees, her ass resting on one of the iron rods, a couple of them under her stomach, another below her breasts, and one right below her throat.  Her arms were stretched over the last iron rod, she was on her forearms with her hands outside of the cage.  This was her position as she tried to relax into it and find comfort.  She did beautifully.  Her body looked incredible tangled up in a small cage.  Her hands were still free to do as they pleased, though.  I asked our host for a bit of rope so I could bind them together.  That was the finishing touch.  I wanted to sit there and watch her.  Then I unbound her hands, carefully removed the iron rods, and opened the cage so she could exit.

In the car that night, she asked what that was like for me.  How did it feel?  I immediately responded with, “It felt great but I don’t have a cage fetish”.  She looked inquisitive and asked me to elaborate.  The more I thought about it and spoke about my thoughts with her, the more I realized I did enjoy cages much more than I thought I would.  The thought of owning my own cage is very pleasant.

The reason I enjoyed seeing her caged was because I saw that she was giving up her freedom and comfort for me.  She knew I enjoyed seeing her in those positions, little by little trying to take small amounts of comfort from her, to push her a little more.  She gave that comfort up and found her own pleasure in the situation.  The lasting impression I took away from this experience was that of love and devotion.  I put her in those cages because I love her.  She allowed me to put her in those cages because she loves and trusts me.  It was an epiphany that didn’t fully make sense.  Though, there’s no other way to describe it.  I look upon that evening with a full heart and butterflies in my stomach; fully turned on.  This is one reason I want to continue to nurture my explorations into BDSM.


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~Thank you.

Be an ABCs contributor:  Have a story or perspective to share about kink or want to promote a kinky event?  Email Karin directly at: or fill out the as-anonymous-as-you-want-it-to-be feedback form below and you could see your writing published as a part of Wednesday’s “Perspectives on Kink: Conversations with the Community” blog on this site.  Don’t know what to write about?  Consider answering some of the Survey Questions I posted recently.  Happy writing, and thanks!

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