Finding Work

Performance: at a recent Beltane event, I encouraged the audience to attach over one hundred clothespins with leaves to my body. My gesture to the ushering in of Springtime.

  • Attending a strip club on the arm of a new friend where we enjoy our evening watching one another receive lap dances and empathically get off on the aesthetics and arousal of each other’s proximity.
  • I walk two miles around town in sneakers until my feet are sore, sweaty, stinky, and tired, to be met by a stranger whose only desire is to grant me a massage, and worship my feet for the afternoon.
  • Encouraged to stomp on the balls of a gent who enjoys CBT. We play a game, drawing cards to determine which activities we engage in in his hotel room.
  • Weekly meetings with a self-described humdrum, discouraged about life, loyal submissive service bottom who adores the privilege of spending time close to the interesting life of Me, their encouraging, confident, and chore list wielding, Sir. …

These are just a few of the job opportunities I have perused this week. Will any pan out? I don’t know. They all sound really fun, and I would get something completely different from each scenario. Never before have I been as interested in hunting for gigs as I am right now.

When going for the opportunities I am interested in, it can be a depressing chore to continuously weed the wankers out from those actually interested in meeting and actually experiencing their posted idea of play. It can be hard to determine how safe I feel approaching a scenario, and it’s good that I have friends who allow me to use them as check-in and safety calls (thank you!).

What fantasies do you harbor? Have you posted them online before, or hired the help of a professional, an amateur, or a stranger to get your experience on? Do you rely on the help of friends or partners to fulfill your needs for adventure, or do you look to porn and erotica? Is your imagination good enough to do the trick? Have you pursued different strategies at different times in your life or within the confines of different relationships? Have you held yourself back from the realization of your fantasies? Do you prefer your fantasies to be just that — unrealized?

I believe this life is about living, and armed with healthy curiosity, clear boundaries, and an eye to what feels right (frequently indicated by what does not), I intend on living. From the first time I was told I couldn’t do something I wanted to because it wasn’t proper for a young lady, I have been hell bent on bucking the system which holds me back from my intrigue and desires. I want to have control over my destiny. I want to connect with people who inspire me. I want to have new experiences and cultivate good stories. I thoroughly enjoy taking control of the games I play with others, and often this comes in the form of simply saying the words “I want”.

Play On My Friends,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and support me. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

Actor Turned Director

Some of the tools I teach with…

I’ve been thinking about my fantasies a lot lately. I think I need to get a little black (and crimson?) book to write them down in… Fantasies are a beautiful stepping stone to scenario, and scenario is a gorgeous stop on the path to planning and play. I am thinking about fantasies because I want to play…

Who’s down for being mummified? Interrogated? Pierced, poked, slapped, hot waxed, led on a leash, stepped on, or wants my flesh therapeutically under their fingers? Anyone for being an ashtray? Pet? Gender bent? How about a power exchange role play? There are so many games which have been played on me that I am excited to flip the script about and Top or Dominate. My brain won’t stop ticking — it’s really quite amusing.

But what, Monsignor Karin?! Aren’t you a sub my boy? Yes! Well, I have been consistently for a number of years now… I’ve seeked out experiences and play from so many places, done extensive research on kinky things, taught classes and demo’d for workshops, helped partners, and I’ve been lucky (and occasionally unlucky) enough to play with a wide range of people doing inventive, nasty things to delight me. I think I’m ready to find some of my own playthings… Teaching has always brought me close to Dominance, I suppose. That role, Teacher, has kept me firmly in a place of Top with regularity for a few years. “Dominating” during class though is something I have divorced myself from the pleasure of… Recently I’ve had multiple experiences where the scales got tipped somehow. I found myself not just demonstrating “how to” but finding blurred lines and exciting new territory as the experience deepened (consensually) into scening and switch. Like my experiences moving from being an actor to Directing — I find incredible strength and pleasure from being able to communicate with my actors. I salivate while drawing out what is the best of theirs and pushing them to go a little further still, to find excellence before the end. I find I am empathic, understanding the feelings my own actor self might be experiencing in their process, riding the energy of the room as we unfold and find our scene. I leave excited about the connection and the work, happy to have helped… but more.

Something has opened in my heart recently. A desire to serve by lead. A readiness and a feeling of safety I haven’t felt before. An ease with my own self-worth, I think. It’s been this toy, tossed in the room, which I’ve been contemplating for awhile from the corner. I finally batted it about a bit… and then… then… well then, I got excited. Now I want to pounce some more.

It’s interesting that though I’ve considered (and loved) myself submissive, I’ve been intentionally building knowledge, opinions, experiences, connections, researching, teaching classes, and now finally a desire to move from sub, to sub who teaches, to sub who teaches and demos, to freshly blooming Dominant.

Does this mean I don’t want you to beat me up if we’ve got a good thing going?! HELL NO!!! Even therapists have therapists, teachers have teachers, and my sadistic ass didn’t get less masochistic… I don’t know that I’ll ever not want to be handled by a talented, loving, sadistic, hot-as-fuck D-type too… Even if the both of us, for a moment, maybe turn on you…

Play On My Friends,
~ Karin

If you like my blog, please check out my Patreon Page and support me. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist

~Thank you.

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