Choosing Between Loves

My favorite comment about this photo was “Dr. Suess after dark”. I think that’s a pretty fitting description of my oeuvre… Mardi Gras 2018

This past year I have been going rounds back and forth trying to figure out what I should be focusing on in my life. Art or Kink? My ultimate answer is “both”, though anyone who hustles for a living knows that more than one career in the works makes it hard to streamline a business plan, and you feel as though you’re doing more work for multiple endeavors than you can fully utilize when focusing in one solitary direction. My interests and skills are diverse, as are my passions, and so I pursue multiple endeavors hoping to find wholeness and peace in time. Puzzling through how to improve my life on a severe budget with a workaholic’s workload is what keeps me… a workaholic.

I’ve recently settled into a housing situation which demands I make a larger amount of income than I’ve needed to make in a long time. My Patreon campaign which helps pay me to write this blog and invest in all of my artistic work is a large portion of my income, I also teach and Pro Dom sessions with people around BDSM skills, I teach artistic skills and identity explorations, I perform in shows, and I get hired to Direct, Produce, house/petsit, and as many other odd jobs as I can handle to pay my bills on time. To make ends meet in ways I am passionate about, I must constantly be on the hustle. I spend a great amount of time booking, networking, following up on dead ends, applying to opportunities I won’t get, researching where the money is and trying to find situations that I fit into which pay. I spend a lot of time reading, researching, organizing, developing programs for new clients’ specific needs. I dream, plan, create, draw, build, feed, and fantasize. There are too many things on my plate and they all look good. It feels overwhelming. I must start somewhere.

Recently I had two gigs back to back, the first was a kink training session, and the second was a ballet class. I was so happy over those couple days! For the BDSM gig I dressed as a strict school teacher, cane in hand. For the dance class I dressed as a ballet teacher: ballet pink tights, black leotard, bun, and ballet shoes (I could have carried a cane but decided I didn’t need to). During each class I spend time critiquing my client’s physical form, I led each student through a set of physical exercises repetitively, critiquing details (being a perfectionist pain in the ass), I assigned homework, and I sent both students home sore. After each class I felt full in my body, mind, and heart, and I had connected well with both students. Each are embarking on a development program with certains goals they’ve asked me for help achieving. Each student showed advancement between the beginning of our class and the end. I feel hopeful and excited about the journey each student is on.

The universe does not seem to be asking me to choose. I love this. It feels good to continue to be put through my paces as a trained artist through performing, creating new art pieces, and teaching, and it feels good to have an opportunity to work with more and more kinksters as a Dominant and skills coach.

What do I want to do ultimately? Well, that’s hard to say specifically, but the ideas I’m juggling right now are these:

  • Approach Brown University and ask about working on my Masters or Doctorate in Sexology coupled with Theater and Direction. For my thesis I would rewrite and expand on my solo show which delves into and explores sexuality and identity, No Shame.
  • Figure out some way to fund getting a Sexology Degree online so that I can expand what I teach and how I offer BDSM classes and counseling
  • Find a piercing studio to apprentice with and deepen my understanding of human anatomy, piercing technique, and handling the body for ritualistic and pain processing purposes
  • Tour the country with other Kinky Professionals and a Documentarian in a BDSMmobile teaching and exploring various communities around the country
  • Move to Paris and continue to do all the things I’m doing now, but in French…

Obviously all of these choices require fundraising. This is a consideration in everything I do creatively, especially in how fast I feel able to move forward with my plans. A lot of my life is spent feeling held back. My hope is that these current baby steps of momentum in my new city continue to build, and that in a year I’ll feel solidly engaged within all of my career paths. Specifically I want to be engaged and have more reliable free time to move and build socially and artistically. Thank you for reading, and if you or your wealthy friends like to support sex and kink positive artists please contact me about how, or check out the support links throughout my blog.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

WARNING: Explicit Content

Hello, and thank you for stopping by ABCs Of Kink!

This site contains adult images, descriptions, and material dealing with Sex, BDSM, various Kinks, and Fetish Lifestyles

It is meant to be viewed by Adults Only.

The creator of the site does not consider the pictures to be pornographic in manner, though there is nudity, and the images published are not appropriate for minors.

If you are UNDER THE AGE of 18, please EXIT the site now

If you are OVER THE AGE of 18, press ENTER and enjoy