Photo by at the Danish language Wikipedia

The munch did not look like this at all.  (Photo by at the Danish language Wikipedia)

I went to my first real munch last week and it went smashingly.

Truth be told I’ve been to one once before, but it was very lightly attended and I was the only person there who didn’t know anyone, so I didn’t get as much from it as I wanted to.  I am usually much better at meeting people one on one and keeping in touch than showing up to groups and feeling awkward about how to proceed.  I must say that it was really lovely going to this event and meeting people casually who I would not necessarily bump into randomly in another setting.  It was grounding to be around other kinky people and talk freely about a lot of various topics including kink and non-kink.  I even made some new friends.

A munch, for those of you who haven’t heard the term, is a gathering for kinky people.  Munches are usually held at non-kinky public places (restaurants, cafeterias, cafes), though sometimes they might be held in private residences or kinky play spaces.  Usually there is a theme to the munch.  The one that I went to was a general BDSM/kinky community munch, and it was held in a mall cafeteria.  There are generally munches for any group: age play, female Dominants, whip enthusiasts, hypnosis players, TNG munches are generally for people 35 and under (meaning: The Next Generation), there are munches for people living in a particular area, etc…

Munches are generally recurring, possibly regularly scheduled, and hosted by one or two people who make the arrangements and post information and invitations.  Usually your host will be responsible for calling ahead to reserve a large table or section of a restaurant for a chunk of time, and often munch-goers are welcome to come and go over that time as they please.  As munches are often held in public places they generally require a “vanilla” or “street and family appropriate” dress code, and will sometimes make mention that kinky talk should happen in quieter tones so as not to disrupt the surrounding non-kinky patrons of whatever establishment they are held in.

It looked much much more like this. (Photo by David Hawgood)

It looked much much more like this – except in a mall, not at the British Museum. (Photo by David Hawgood)

While munches are not a place for playing with others, they are a place you can meet people who might invite you to play spaces.  They are definitely places you can learn about the places people in your community gather for play, skill shares, or classes, and sometimes a munch will serve as pre-party to an established play event (though to my knowledge that is rare).

Munches are a place for people who are interested in a particular theme to learn more and meet others who share the interest.  People who have been practicing “in the scene” for decades will be there, as well as newbies who aren’t even sure what they are truly interested in, and of course everyone in between.  At this munch there was a lot of eating, talking, exchanging ideas and references, plan making, catch-up between friends, meeting and introducing new people around, a game of Cards Against Humanity at one end of the table, and eventually the decision to extend the hours and take the group to another place to keep talking.  Brilliant!

You can find munches that are happening in an area near you pretty easily on Fetlife, and sometimes they’ll be posted on meet-up boards online.  Happy hunting, I plan on following up with the people I’ve met, and continue to keep my personal community growing.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

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~Thank you.


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