Picture by Mileamne

Picture by Mileamne

They say the pain of birthing is…
…still so many children have siblings.
“Relationships are hard” the back of my brain whines
While I gasp for air in a corner
Beside myself
Barely recognizable
A ball of distrust and sharp edges stabbing inward too

Fear.  Grief.  Feral Anger.  Pain.
These places are taken at the table
Crowding out space set for perspective and care
Past and present intertwine
Here and now
A ghoulish nightmare
Mismatched memories
And I don’t know who I’m talking to anymore

The hours roll by
An evening, a week, a year; my life seems almost through
Tears fall
Bark of a pained heart
Howling cry long in the night
And we fail one another
Love one another
Push each other
Sew it back together

Maybe stronger
But when memories recall too fast
We fall again in blame
When memories fade too fast
We trip up, a clumsy face plant on the floor
I look for grace
Lovers learning
Creative breath
Opening by degree
Delving deep to fix the cracks
A race against shatter

We will fall again
In love, in turmoil, into Fear, Grief, Feral Anger, and Pain
We’ll see them coming to the door
We’ll take place settings away
Calm the monsters
Hold onto a faint almost imperceptible vital knowing
That everything will be alright

Nothing incredible was ever created without an understanding of survival
Without a certain measure of surpassable pain.

To Breath and Being,
~ Karin

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~Thank you.


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