Making Art

For the past seven months I’ve been gathering various bits of material for a  few art pieces I’m creating. Since starting on Testosterone I’ve taken a photo of my face and my vulva almost every day, and I’ve saved most of the supplies one would normally throw away in the process of taking these shots. A few days ago in solitary, nestled in the quiet countryside to housesit and birdsit for an artist friend, I emptied out my bags of items, updated my photo library, and started touching all the things…

I have a pretty good idea about where I’m going with this project, but the final image of it and the “how to” of my process are not yet fully realized. It’s an exciting place to be artistically: idea firmly in mind, supplies spread in front of me, yet still working out the designs. I fall asleep each night thinking about new ways to put all the pieces together, and dream up more detailed versions of what these pieces might be. At this point in the process I need to let myself be slow, stimulated by my senses primarily, let myself be unhappy with the first 20, 200, or 2000 ideas that pop into my mind, and I let dissatisfaction lead me on new hunts for better techniques which excite me, and can bring forth my vision more satisfactorily. There’s a lot of trial and error and staring at ingredients and looking at other people’s art, reading articles about current events, and distraction going on in the background.

I am in research-and-try stage (do I ever really leave that though?) — I am playing with my materials. I am sorting objects, folding items, considering if glue or stitching makes most sense, looking up patterns and learning more about various methods of assembly. It is good to be wild and imaginative and not to say no to the images or ideas which pop up for me as I go. They morph and build on one another. They fade away when they’re not necessary, and lead me into investigative compulsion when I feel more strongly. They are parts of the answer, and reveal to me things I do not want to do as well as things I might definitely try. My ideas are asking me questions about my true intent: what are the rules of this project; what do I mean to say or imply; if I adjust this detail a little will my meaning come more into focus or become obscured by something else; is that “something else” actually important for me to look at and define?

This observation is my premise: since I started taking T I’ve been more excited to embrace the parts of me which are femme. It’s fascinating and beautiful. I feel solid, as though I’m allowed to be me in each of the ways I’ve wanted to be in my life. I’m more comfortable enjoying my whims, without defining them as “not mine”, and this has opened doors for me inside. I am less afraid and less convinced I must put on someone else’s skin to say what I have to say. I feel sexier and more able to express my own boundaries. I am not as frightened (or insecure or wrapped in dread) around other people’s lust, desire, or turned on realities. I’m discovering my body interacting with others is fun, and I’m more confident saying, “no, let’s pause here”, or “I’m done now, thanks”.

This project is an installation I’ve been chewing over for a long while. I think the first representation of this idea I explored was in 2013 for a show about queerness. I brought my bedroom into a gallery for a night and had interactions with people in it, headlined with the question, “what do you want?”. Today’s version is different, more fantastical, less literal, and perhaps exploring “what I want”, and “what I have wanted”. I’m excited to be forming it, piece by piece under my fingers finally. It feels good.

If you would like to help me fund this project and keep making various other pieces of visual art, performance, and writing in 2018, please click the links below and learn how.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

There’s Magic in the Middle

Make-up and chin hairs: as I grow into my masculinity I am enjoying more and more my femme reality.

Kinky Transboy seeks Slow and Hot (Providence)

body: fit
eye color: blue
facial hair: hopefully one day
height: 5’3″ (160cm)

age: 39

I am genderfluid/nonbinary trans (ftm). Attractive, fit, curvy, strong, smart, and caring. I love my pre-op body and don’t think that will change. I’m on Testosterone and so becoming more androgynous slowly. I still look (pass) very female but have a larger clit, and more body hair. It delights me. I identify as a femmeboy and dress dandy most days, though I also love lacy lingerie.

I want cuddles, I want kink/BDSM, I want fun and fantasy, I want sexiness and creative play. I don’t want to be pushed beyond my sexual boundaries too quickly, I want someone willing to start out slow and sensually. Seduce me. I also want a kinky pervert, someone I can experiment, role play, and adventure with when we trust each other eventually. (I’ll throw out that a Sugar wouldn’t be unwelcome…).

I don’t want to keep coming out as trans every time I meet someone new. I’m not going to look the same in 6 months as I do now. Hopefully I can find people who are excited about that and want to watch me change… So here I am. Talk to me.

Put “Femmeboy” in the subject line and send me a pic. Tell me what you want and what you think…

  • do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

***   ***   ***

It’s slippery here in the middle, and I’ve made a life if it. Bi/omni/pan (re: Sexual), FemmeBoy, Artist and Producer, Feminist Testosterone taker, Drag King and Burlesquer, Actor cum Writer cum Director. In all things a shapeshifter… I want what I want and I do not want to pick sides. I want to be the full ocean I am inside, wearing it stylishly for all to admire and see. It’s hard to walk, balancing on the many lines, this way.

Questions are hard to answer truthfully without a paragraph’s worth of time, or the questioner’s understanding of complicated reality. Words shift their meaning between the textures of context. Thinking they have it pinned down finally, friends get frustrated with ambivalent explanations concerning my growth. I am many different shapes throughout my day.

It’s confusing for me too. It’s hard to learn one way of loving my body, and then look in the mirror and discover my hair’s grown too long or there are new physical developments surfacing. However, in between these constantly shifting realities I embrace the many more sides of knowing I can now see. It’s power and it’s magic, to put it simply.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

Banned Words, Concepts, and Lives

Please, if you enjoy my blog, contribute to my Patreon: www.Patreon.com/KarinWebb. This is the major way I am paid to write and create, and is currently the largest most steady source of income going to my rent and bills. Thank you, and Happy Holidays.

 

My response to this week (and the past year) as a citizen of the United States: We are all vulnerable to the corruption of those who would stand against a more equal nation which values and reflects our community’s true diversity. This idea is evidence-based, just look back over the past year’s shifting of policies nationwide which reflect protections of misguided entitlement over science-based agendas. As a transgender citizen of the United States, and as a citizen who happens to have a uterus, it looks as though by the end of our current presidency a fetus might have more rights over my body than I will.

Make no mistake, it is not a coincidence that women, queers, and racial minorities are the targets of an establishment which is patriarchal, older, male, cis, largely heteronormative, middle to upper class, and pervasively white, who would have their privileges upheld over people with reproductive abilities, alternative ideas about how and who to love or how to speak about their own identities and bodies, and those with skin colors who historically have been marginalized and abused. A community comprised of people who understand their individuated power to grow and over time better govern their bodies, hearts, and minds, a community which acts with respect to nature and understands the environment through science, evidence, and experience rather than dogmatic teachings is a community which will not much longer be repressed by the fossils of an abusive and repressive era. That some of the words I have used above (and I’m sure most of my ideas) are an abomination to our current governing body is remarkable.

Small minded.

Weak.

No, I’m not the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention), but for the Federal Agency whose sole purpose is to keep the United States healthy to be limited by vocabulary (especially vocabulary accurately descriptive of its research) to receive funding, is not only ludicrous it is vile. I am a patriot, and I do not believe our current administration has the wellbeing of most of our nation’s people in its sight. I believe this administration to be actively hostile and hateful to the actual persons who comprise our nation.

Fuck. This. President.

Old man, shatter.

We “Other’d folk” growing healthy, strong, and demanding of our rights are the reality of natural growth and change.

Evangelicals: stay out of the Government. Your trifling is unconstitutional, and you cannot turn back nature’s progress meaningfully. Your attempts make you look a complete ass.

It is time for all of us who believe in the more perfect union achieved through equality and peace to not allow ourselves to be subdivided through the sting of “but me too” or “NotAll___” or fear of loss as the scales balance to favor all. We are on this Earth together, some more or differently blessed than others in circumstance and journey. It is up to each of us to utilize and to share what we possess to the benefit of all this planet’s creatures.

So be it.

Play On My Friends,
~ Creature

Please support my work on Patreon. For one time donations click here: Support the Artist 
~Thank you.

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